1. When he found out he lost all his money:
.@dylansprouse did you hear the news?
2. When he went off the deep end:
#Welp #WhatDidYouExpect #LookAtTheSoulessEyes
3. When he had strong takes about kisses:
I'm also wearing a plaid train conductor's hat so why the hell are you trusting my 10yo opinion??? #IWasAMess
4. When he did it all for the Webkinz:
I reinforced traditional gender dynamics for the free webkins.
5. When he probably/definitely/maybe graduated from college:
"Reportedly"
6. When he retweeted this, which explained why he and Dylan were still single:
And to make matters worse, that flyer didn't help our situation at all :(
7. When he worried about the future of his hair:

8. When he gave away the SHOCKING reveal:
I look fresh bitch
9. When he accidentally found out he died:
Dead on the inside counts too
10. When he was concerned for this Cole Sprouse mannequin:
Step 1: sever head from fucking shoulders.
11. When he took a quiz called "Does Cole Sprouse Thing You're Cool?":
"Haha this should be fun."
12. When he regretted shit he said in an interview one time:
Do you ever stay up tormented by something you said a long time ago? Lol yeah me neither I was just asking… https://t.co/RYRzLyutkL
13. When his *dating life* was exposed:
.@dylansprouse they know about us.
14. And, of course, when he explained why no one will hire the Sprouse twins anymore:
Crafty can't support our choco taco gluttony. Wardrobe can't find pants with enough dick room~