1. What the actual fuck?
2. Why was Hanna surprised that they treat you like a criminal when you're IN PRISON?
3. Why did Aria think it was necessary to tell us that she peed herself?
4. Was the whole going to prison thing just an attempt to capitalise on the success of Orange Is The New Black?
5. When did Aria have time for an amazing haircut between getting arrested and being kidnapped?
6. Why did Toby think it was "good news" that the police chief didn't want to go to the media about the girls' disappearance?
7. Like four teenagers go missing from police custody… and the only people doing anything about it are their boyfriends and their creepy pedo English teacher?
8. Why does A need three different languages in the saw house?
9. WHY IS HANNA TAUNTING A??
10. Why are the girls so chill and able to SLEEP IN THE CRAZY SAW HOUSE?
11. Are these girls so used to being tortured they just DGAF anymore?
12. How is it at all possible that these girls haven't yet had a complete and total emotional breakdown?
13. Who is Charles?
14. Does Charles let them pee in the saw house?
15. Does Charles keep a hair and makeup artist on retainer for the girls?
16. Seriously who is Charles?
17. IS CHARLES JASON'S TWIN?
18. If so why does Jason not remember him?
19. OR DOES HE?
20. Is Jason in on it??!?
21. Is Charles actually A???
22. Is Jason A?
23. Is Charles impersonating Jason?
24. IS THE FIRST JASON FROM SEASON ONE A???
25. If Charles is Jason's twin why were all the hints about Ali having a double??
26. IS THIS WHAT MELISSA WAS TALKING ABOUT LAST SEASON, DOES SHE KNOW THAT JASON HAS A TWIN?
27. DID MELISSA BANG CHARLES?
28. DID CHARLES KILL HIS MOTHER??
29. IS CECE DRAKE CHARLES AND ALSO SOMEONE'S TWIN I CAN'T KEEP TRACK??
30. Where DOES Cece Drake fit into all this?
31. Who is Bethany and where does SHE fit into all this?
32. Whatever happened to Vivian Darkbloom?
33. Is Vivian Darkbloom Charles?
34. Is Charles Red Coat?
35. Is Charles Paige's long lost brother?
36. Is Wren Charles?
37. Is Charles Wren?
38. Is Maya Charles?
39. Is Spencer Charles?
40. Is Aria Charles?
41. Who the fuck is Charles??
42. Does Alison's dad ever wonder "dear God why is my family so FUCKED UP"?
43. Is Alison's dad in on it?!?!
44. What happened in their childhood to make them so fucked up?
45. Seriously what HAPPENED to A to make them such a CRAZY SOCIOPATH?
46. Why are the girls even listening to Mona and doing what she says?
47. AND why don't they just ASK Mona how she faked her death and how she ended up in the dollhouse?
48. Mona left the clue about Charles earlier, why does it now seem like she DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING?
49. WHY DOES MONA THINK SHE'S WINNING THE GAME?
50. Why is Mona even remotely surprised that her mother is not doing so well? SHE THINKS YOU'RE DEAD.
51. WHY DID WE SEE MONA'S DEAD FACE EARLIER IN THE SEASON IF SHE'S ALIVE???????
52. WHAT HAPPENED TO MONA????
53. IS MONA ALISON????
54.IS MONA INSANE????
55. HAS MONA BEEN ALISON THIS WHOLE TIME?
56. BUT REALLY WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THE TIME MONA WAS GONE GIRLING HERSELF TO THE TIME WHEN A CAPTURED HER??
57. WHY DIDN'T THEY PICK A NICER TOP FOR ALI TO DIE IN IN THE FIRST EPISODE I'M SICK OF LOOKING AT IT NOW MONA IS WEARING IT TOO??
58. Why did A frame Ali for Mona's murder then force Mona to act like Ali, instead of just, you know, kidnapping Ali?
59. A can literally hear and see everything these girls do in the real world, yet now they're IN A'S HOUSE and somehow they have a private space to talk?
60. A has now delivered all these ingredients to make some machine to help them escape, when did A get so dumb?!?!
61. BUT HOW DOES "A" GET ALL THIS MONEY TO FUND ALL THESE CRAZY PLANS???
62. Is A a legend on the stock market?
63. Did A inherit like a million dollars?
64. Does A have a weird sex fetish? Is that what all this is about?
65. Is Zayn "A" ?
66. Is Dan Humphrey A?
67. AM I A?
68. Is Marlene A and we are all her dolls?
69. Why is Ezra now just bros with Toby and Caleb?
70. Isn't that weird, like he's still their teacher figure right?
71. No, really. WHAT is Ezra still doing here? Aria's moved on and he's just being a creepy old dude now who's trying to be hip and connected with the youth of Rosewood.
72. OMG MAYBE HE'S A?!
73. Is Ezra's middle name Charles?
74. Can Ezra even make good coffee?
75. When did he even buy a coffee shop btw? He just had it all of a sudden.
76. WHY DID CALEB THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO GO TO THE COPS AND BE LIKE "YEP. HACKED IT." BOOM.
77. WHY IS TOBY SUCH A DUM DUM STUPID IDIOT MAN LIKE HOW ARE YOU EVEN A COP M8????
78. Why does it take until the SEASON FIVE FINALE for ANYBODY to mention what is happening to a RESPONSIBLE ADULT?
79. Seriously why didn't these dumb girls just tell their parents and the police way back in season one?
80. Where are Hanna's parents and Aria's parents in all this?
81. Why did Spencer's dad suddenly become really hot?
82. WHY DID OLIVIA BENSON NOT SOLVE THIS CRIME FASTER???
83. Does Rosewood have the worst parents in the world?
84. And the worst cops in the world?
85. Is Rosewood the worst town in the world?
86. WHY ARE THEY ALL STILL LIVING IN ROSEWOOD?
87. How the fuck is Tanner actually a detective, like seriously she's dumb AF HOW?
88. How does anyone stay in prison when both the cops and the prison guards are obvs shit at life? Alison could have totally escaped.
89. How much does it cost to rent a lair?
90. What areas of town are best when looking to rent a lair?
91. How many lairs does A have?!
92. Why does EVERYONE insist on calling it A's "lair"?
93. How do you lay so low for five seasons?
94. Why did Tanner go "Well Well Well" when she was looking at the video from the saw house, what was she thinking?!?!
95. What on earth does Andrew have to do with all this?
96. Why does Aria have such crap taste in dudes? They're all spying on her.
97. WHO'S ANDREW AGAIN?
98. Is Andrew Charles?
99. If Andrew is Charles and also Jason's twin, and Jason is Spencer's half-brother, does that mean Spencer nearly did a strip dance that time for her half-brother, Andrew/Charles??
100. If four Liars are trapped in the house and Ali is in prison, how many apples can you buy with $4.56?
101. What is with the weird prom re-enactment scene? Why would A want that?
102. Why does the costume department hate Aria? That dress is so fug.
103. Sorry but why does A have such crap taste in music?
104. WHY ARE THEY PLAYING THE HILLS THEME SONG???
105. IS HEIDI MONTAG A??
106. WHY IS EVERYONE EXCEPT SPENCER AND MONA A DUM DUM???
107. How many times would the girls have died if Spencer didn't save their butts?
108. What was the point of Mona getting that gas mask? Or will we find that out in the next ten episodes?
109. How big is A's mask budget?
110. Ditto mannequins?
111. Why does A use porcelain masks when plastic/cardboard would be much cheaper?
112. How many pairs of gloves does A go through per day?
113. What happened to the days where A just wore a black hoodie? He's getting too fancy.
114. Does he online shop to make things easier?
115. People would notice a dude buying that many gloves surely?
116. What the hell was up with A's terrible wig?
117. Who is A's stylist?
118. Does A ever slip up and send the wrong text message to people?
119. Does A still have spider powers like last season when he JUMPED OFF THAT FUCKING BUILDING LIKE WTF WAS THAT I'LL NEVER BE OVER IT???
120. How did the girls survive for that long in the saw house without having any love interests near them?
121. How, after all this time, can they not execute an escape plan properly?????
122. WHY WOULD THEY THINK THEY COULD ESCAPE?
123. Like seriously, why did they RUN instead of IDK, like, hitting Charles over the head with something and UNMASKING HIM??????
124. Seriously Spencer was SO CLOSE why didn't she just pull off the damn mask??!??!
125. LITERALLY WHY DO THEY KEEP SAYING THAT THERE'S ONLY ONE A WHEN THEY KNOW *FOR A GODDAMN FACT* THAT THERE ARE A FUCKTON OF As EVERYWHERE??
126. How much time has passed since this whole damn thing started?
127. Literally why didn't they just tell their parents that this was happening back in season one and save us all this damn trouble?
128. Or why didn't the girls just get new phones, only tell the new number to a few people, and then if they got an A text they could narrow down who A is?
129. What did these girls DO to warrant all this?
130. Real talk why didn't A/Charles just KILL them, he has had SO many chances?
131. How are any of them still alive?
132. What the fuck is A's endgame?
133. What is Mona's endgame?
134. Are Mona and Charles just banging?
135. WHAT IS HAPPENING??!?!
136. Do you writers actually know what's going on?
137. Why do the writers love messing with us so much?
138. Are they going to make a musical episode ala Buffy the Vampire Slayer???
139. Do these girls actually have birthdays every year? Aren't they about 40 by now??
140. How did they get inside my head like this?
141. Why do I even care about this show anymore?
142. Why do any of us even watch this show?