199 Thoughts You Have When You Shop At H&M
My body is ready.
1. I can't believe H&M is finally in Australia!
2. It's probably not as good as it is overseas.
3. It's probably way more expensive.
4. The clothes are probably from like two seasons ago.
5. Sucks that it's only in Melbourne.
6. Although at least that means not EVERYONE will be wearing the same thing.
7. I'm gonna go check it out anyway.
8. I probably won't buy much.
9. I better prepare myself, just in case.
10. Comfy shoes, check.
11. Bladder emptied, check.
12. Coffee hit, check.
13. A bottle of water, check.
14. My body is ready.
15. Woooooooah it's massive.
16. What a pretty building.
17. Oh wow this used to be Melbourne's first post office.
18. Wooooah look at the inside.
19. This is pretty.
20. LOOK AT ALL THE CLOTHES.
21. How many floors are in this thing?!
22. Where do I even start…
23. Don't expect to see me for an hour.
24. OK, front corner, left hand side, good place to start.
25. I'll just work my way up.
26. Oooh basics. I need some basics.
27. That doesn't make me basic does it?
28. Nah, everybody needs basics.
29. Say basic again.
31. Only $12?!
32. Ok I'll have one in every colour.
33. How the hell am I going to carry this all.
34. Oooh shopping bag, convenient!
35. Cardigans, I definitely need cardigans.
36. I definitely need at least three colours.
37. I probably don't need this polka dot one… but it's only $19.95!
38. Why not?
39. ~working my way through H&M~
40. Oh no this is zig zagging all over the place.
41. I think I missed that rack!
42. Better go back.
43. Looks like I'm zig zagging too.
44. ~zig zagging through H&M~
45. THIS IS AWESOME.
46. It's actually pretty cheap.
47. And like, good.
48. I am so happy.
49. This is so great.
50. Ugh why do so many tags still have European sizes.
51. This is Australia, H&M!
52. What the hell is a size 32?
53. Not my size clearly.
54. Oh score, this one is Australian sizing.
55. But… it says the same number as a US size.
56. Everybody knows Australian and US sizes are not the same.
57. Like, we don't do size zero.
58. We at least start at six.
59. So is this an Australian size 10 or a US size 10?
60. IT CAN'T BE BOTH H&M?!
61. I am so confused.
62. I guess I'll just try one in every size.
63. Man, my arm is getting sore.
64. Ooooh sequined cat mask.
65. Do I need this sequined cat mask?
66. I think I do.
67. No, wait, I'm just being silly.
68. I'll put it back.
69. Oh now that girl is looking at it.
70. Shit she's gonna grab it.
71. I WANT THAT SEQUINNED CAT MASK.
72. YES she put it back.
74. I probably don't really need it though.
75. It's only $10?! Screw it.
76. ~got myself a sequined cat mask~
77. OK! Left side done! Now… the middle. And the right side. And the back sections. And the other floors.
78. Oh god.
79. This is gonna take forever.
80. Oh that's nice.
81. That's nice too.
82. Yep I'll try that on.
83. May as well try this when I'm in there.
84. Do I need a denim jacket?
85. YES I want some $14.95 jeans.
86. That's not my size.
87. That's not my size either.
88. Nope, not my size.
89. Not my size.
90. Not my siiiiize.
91. NOT MY SIZE.
92. WHY ARE THESE ALL TINY SIZES?!
93. My big butt deserves $14.95 jeans too, dammit.
94. H&M you disappoint me.
95. Oooh look at that cute top.
96. Oooh dresses, I love dresses.
97. These two patterns are really great.
98. Which one should I try?
99. WHY NOT BOTH?!
100. I love you, H&M.
101. I am nearly done with this floor.
102. My feet are getting sore.
103. This bag is so heavy.
104. Nearly there…
105. I did not hydrate enough for this.
106. Shopping is hard work.
107. But fun work.
108. I literally can't carry any more though.
109. One more little section…
110. OK, this level is DONE.
111. Except all the shoes and accessories…
112. I'll get to that later.
113. Time to try stuff on.
114. Wow that's a long line for the changerooms.
115. This bag is so heavy
116. My feet are killing me.
117. Ugh I wish that bored-looking guy wasn't taking up so much of that seat. My feet need a rest.
118. Oooh my turn, yes.
119. What do you mean I can only take in seven things?
120. Looks like we're doing three rounds, then.
121. These changerooms are pretty nice.
122. SCORE, a seat.
123. Yep I can totally try stuff on while sitting down.
124. Ugh do I have to take my pants off?
125. Trying stuff on is hard work.
126. This looks terrible.
127. This does NOT fit.
128. Yeeeaaah, this is not my size.
129. Oh, this is nice!
130. This is OK…
131. Oh it's only $9.95? May as well get it.
132. Alright I'm getting these three things.
133. Ugh do I have to put my pants back on?
134. Time to do the ACCESSORIES.
135. Buy two get one free? YES PLEASE.
136. Yep I'll have that.
137. That too.
138. And this.
139. And this.
140. And this and this and this.
141. BUY ALL THE ACCESSORIES.
142. Holy crap there's more clothes back here.
143. Urrrrgh there's a whole other floor.
144. Goddamn I'm tired.
145. Gotta keep going.
146. I can do it.
147. I can do it.
148. I can sit down in the changeroom again.
149. I might not get to shop at H&M again for like ages.
150. This looks like the business section.
151. Who shops at H&M for business clothes?
152. Oh that IS a nice blazer though…
153. Can I pull off banana print harem pants?
154. I probably can't pull off banana print harem pants.
155. Screw it, I'm trying them on.
156. Ugh I gotta line up AGAIN.
157. My feet are sooooooore.
158. Would people judge me if I just sat down right here?
159. They'd probably judge me.
160. I'd judge myself.
161. If I hop from one foot to another that helps a little.
162. Right foot relieved.
163. Left foot relieved.
164. Right foot relieved.
165. Left foot relieved.
166. This totally counts as a workout right?
167. My biceps are feeling the burn.
168. YES, my turn!
169. This pug shirt is totally cute.
170. I definitely need this jumper.
171. Ugh this dress is not good.
172. Yeeeeaaah I cannot pull off banana print harem pants.
173. Is that it?
174. I… I think I'm done!
175. What have I got in this shopping bag…
176. Wow, a lot.
177. Do I want it all?
178. Well this is so cheap, and this… and this one is really cute.
179. Yep, yep, yep.
180. Oh, no I don't want this top.
181. But it IS only $19.99.
182. Why not…
183. No, I'll be good. Putting this one back.
184. OK, let's get out of here!
185. Oh yay, another long line.
186. Yes I'm taking all of these.
187. Wait it's HOW MUCH?!
188. Well that added up quickly.
189. I guess I am getting a lot of stuff.
190. I just won't buy anything for like six months.
192. I'm outta here.
193. I need a drink.
194. WAIT I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THAT SECTION.
195. I can't do it. I physically can't do it.
196. I've bought enough.
197. I'm walking out the door.
198. I'm so proud of myself.
199. Wait, when did it get dark outside?!