7 News has reported that Agro (of Agro's Cartoon Connection fame) has been the victim of car theft. Please stop what you are doing right now and watch this very important news segment. I'm serious: WATCH IT ALL. You won't regret it.
OK, now that you're up to date, let me tell you that I have not been able to stop thinking about it since I watched it seven minutes ago. I have so many questions about this crime. Like:
1. How many suspects could there be for the theft of an Agro car?
2. Is the Agro collectible market so big that we can’t narrow it down?
3. Has anyone seen Anne Maree lately?
4. What about Terasa?
5. Where were those Cheez TV chumps at the time the vehicle was stolen?
6. But also um, how does Agro, a puppet with no legs, drive a car?
7. Did the car have insurance?
8. Why was it just in the front yard with no supervision if it’s so valuable?
9. What TV commercial was it used for?
10. And why was it in MELBOURNE?
11. Who transported it from Melbourne back to Queensland?
12. And, again, why did they just leave it in the front yard?
13. How much police time is this taking up?
14. How are police “trying to find” security footage, like, don’t the know if they have security footage or not?
15. How did they find Agro?
16. Did they just call him up and tell him they lost his car?
17. Was Agro really agro?
18. Wait, does he, like, live with the collector couple?
19. Is this some Misery-type situation?
20. Like, where has he been for the last 15 years or whatever?
21. Is it significant that these people live in DECEPTION Bay, hmmmm?
22. Agro, do you need help? (Blink twice if you do.)
23. Does Wendy’s still make Agro ice cream?
24. Do little kids even know who Agro is these days?
25. Is it time for Agro to stage a comeback?
26. Is this all part of his comeback?
27. WILL WE EVER LEARN THE TRUTH?