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17 Batshit Things That Have Already Happened In Australia In 2017

Honestly what is this country?

1. Melbourne's beaches were literally full of shit.

Poo beaches?? Really Melbourne, you must try harder...

2. While over a thousand people shut down a city block trying to get cheap tickets to The Book of Mormon.

At the front of #BookOfMormonAU queue but it wraps the entire block of Collins, Bourke, and Russell St 😩

3. A snake ate an entire wallaby.

Facebook: 7newssydney

4. While this one ate another snake.

Source / PR IMAGE

5. And this one hitched a ride in the bonnet of a woman's car.

Mundoo Island Station / Via Facebook: pg

6. This snake hid inside a little girl's bedside light.

Gold Coast Snake Catcher / Via Facebook: Goldcoastsnakecatcher

7. And THIS one fell victim to a redback spider.

Facebook: video.php

There's been a lot of snake news, OK.

8. Former PM Bob Hawke sculled a beer at the cricket before lunchtime, on live TV.

Our oldest living Prime Minister. Outstanding.

9. A goon thief hid the evidence.

Bloke charged with stealing goon bag drank it, all of it, while in a police room waiting to be interviewed. Sculled…

10. Thousands of people descended on Canberra to celebrate burnouts, booze and boobs at Summernats.

11. A mum in Queensland was fined after admitting to "testing" her 15-year-old son's weed stash.

13. A croc that had been terrorising a golf club was caught... except it might've been an entirely different croc.

Facebook: willowsgolfclub

14. Meanwhile, this croc was just chilling at a kid's playground.

15. This guy kayaked over the edge of a waterfall.

Facebook: video.php

16. And this guy played lawn bowls for 73 hours straight in an attempt to break a world record that never actually existed.

ABC / Via

At least he SET the record and raised $20,000 for his bowls club in the process.

17. Finally, it came to light that people have been throwing themselves through tables for fun.

And we're only 12 days in!

LogoTV / Via Giphy

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