Reminder Of How Messed Up "Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior" Is
The first movie messed me up, but like Max I just had to go on.
This week, I decided to fix my appalling status as an Australian who has never seen a Mad Max film. After being totally messed up by the first one, I of course wanted more.
I had been told The Road Warrior was actually much better than the first movie, so I was very excited (and slightly scared) going into it. Here's what I found...
ALRIGHT because I have gone full #Mad I will now be watching #MadMax2. HOLD ME.
The movie opens with a "Previously, on Mad Max", which was actually super helpful and gave way more information on the ~world situation~ than the whole first movie.
It shows Max visiting two graves, confirming that his wife did die along with poor li'l Sprog, AND it also gives background into how things got so messed up. (Basically fuel crisis + war = hell on earth).
There is more information and sense in the first two minutes of #MadMax2 than the entire first movie
And in drives Max in his huge FU car, looking scruffier than before because he's all world weary I guess.
He's on the hunt for fuel, but then he seems to waste so much fuel while searching for more (and fighting for it in crazy car chases). Like, maybe just settle in one spot and fuel won't be such an issue?
Seriously for a world that's run out of fuel they sure do love driving around in big vehicles a lot #madmax2
Max has a blonde streak in his hair now, I guess coz he's more of a ~rebel~.
Also, like, he looks really hot and it's so confusing in the context of it's 2015 and Mel Gibson is, you know, Mel Gibson.
Mel Gibson is actually hot in this movie omg you guys i think that's the most disturbing part #madmax2
He also has a new dog, which is terrifying because we all know what happened to the last one.
(IT WAS MURDERED BY BIKIES ICYMI)
AND the bikies from Weird Science show up, because Max killed all the other ones off in the first movie.
These guys are even more camp than the last lot. Apparently, that's possible.
Max deals with them but doesn't kill them because of PLOT POINTS, and then he gets waylaid by this rando goggles guy who tries to steal his fuel.
Jokes on him because he's dealing with Mad Max, Road Warrior Princess.
"Don't you know who I am?!"
Max captures HIM and takes him to the nearest lookout for a romantic picnic.
(Actually, Goggles begs for his life by saying he'll show Max where to get a lot of fuel, because that's Max's life now. And this is the place.)
(Goggles is not his real name btw, but I didn't catch it in the whole movie.)
(The picnic is real though and it consists of dog food.)
(Like Max eats dog food.)
(Dinky Di dog food.)
(I am not shitting you.)
"I reckon yew got a BAARgun don't yew?" lol Mel Gibson's Australian accent #madmax2
Coincidentally, the Weird Science bikies Max had problems with earlier are causing havoc for the people holed up in the fuel station.
The bikies in this movie are wearing assless chaps instead of jodhpurs so I guess they're more hardcore #madmax2
Like the first movie, the bikies capture a man and a woman and brutalise them. :(
And again like the first film, Max stumbles upon the aftermath of the scene. This time, the woman is already dead but the man is still kicking, so Max helps him. But just in case you thought he was Happy Max instead of Mad Max, he makes it clear he's only doing it so he can get into the fuel station.
Because he's a fuel junkie now.
He carries the man in to the fuel station, which apparently doubles as a futuristic cult compound if the white couture is anything to go by. This lady in American football gear captures Max.
Basically this movie is a series of captures and reverse captures with Max and friends.
Max meets the leader of the fuel hoarders cult, Pappagallo, who looks like a grown-up child of the corn, and also this weird feral kid who is able to bleach his hair but not wash it, apparently.
There's this nice bonding moment between Max and Feral Kid, who I guess would be about the same age as poor dead li'l Sprog. Also his communication level is about the same as Sprog's was, i.e. he can't talk and just grunts and screams a lot. It's all very symbolic.
The leader of the Weird Science bikies shows up, and, well, just look at him:
His name is Humungus and he is very intimidating, in a sex dungeon kinda way.
He yells into a microphone about the fuel, but then Feral Kid shows up and throws his boomerang and kills this bikie dude.
Because apparently it's cool to use Indigenous weapons but not feature Indigenous people.
Assless Chaps Bikie is very upset, but Humungus calms him with his strong arms and offers the fuel hoarders cult the chance to "just walk away" into the wasteland and give up the fuel.
The elders of the fuel hoarders cult argue over what they're going to do, and Max says he can get them a truck that will help transport the fuel outta there and to some safe place they insist exists because they're basically dreamin'.
Max, of course, strikes a deal to get his car back from them and as much fuel as he can carry in exchange for retrieving the truck, because he's MAD MAX not HAPPY MAX, remember.
Max ventures out to get the truck and comes across Goggles and captures him once again.
He forces Goggles to use his mini plane thingy to fly him to the truck, before setting him free. See he's still good, he's just hiding it with a bad attitude.
As Max brings the truck back to the fuel cult, the bikies intercept him and all hell breaks loose.
"I'll show you what mad really means mate. Look at my mohawk. THAT'S MAD."
Max, having driven the truck into the compound, starts shooting fire at the bikies, and it's really hot. Like literally and figuratively.
My brain says no but my thirst says YAAASS.
Goggles shows up with his mini plane thingy and the bikies retreat, because who wouldn't find this guy intimidating?
Then Pappagallo, who's been injured, and this mechanic dude have a conversation across the compound via two other shouty guys, like a loud annoying game of Chinese whispers.
"How's the truck?"
"HOW'S THE TRUCK?"
"The truck's fucked mate."
"THE TRUCK'S FUCKED MATE!"
Meanwhile the cult tries to convince Max to come with them to the Sunshine Coast, because they think it still looks like a postcard from the '70s. Max is like, "yeah, nah".
"I'M MAD DON'T YA GET IT!"
He punches Pappagallo and even tells Feral Kid to scram. He's that ~mad~.
Max drives outta the compound... straight into the path of the Weird Science bikies.
HOW WAS THIS A GOOD IDEA MAX? HOW?
Max crawls out of his car, then this asshole shoots his dog (I KNEW IT! WHYYYY?!???!) and then Max's car explodes.
"This was probably a bad idea."
Goggles rescues Max in his little plane thingy and takes him back to the cult.
Mad Max, Road Damsel In Distress.
Max volunteers to help the cult escape to the Sunshine Coast by driving the fuel-filled tanker through the bikie gang, because apparently getting busted up and losing everything he had AGAIN made him want to be part of the team.
"Look at yourself Max, you're a mess" - actual, accurate quote in the movie.
There's a super long, pretty brutal chase scene in which many people get killed/injured, most notably this mechanic guy who is really shocked that his hands catch fire when he touches fire:
Feral Kid, having hitched a ride with Max, is loving all the chaos.
"Ooh ooh aah aah" - actual quote from the movie.
Max, with all his responsible adulting skills, sends Feral Kid out on to the hood of the truck to retrieve a precious stray bullet, but then Assless Chaps Bikie pops up and a lot of screaming ensues.
"AAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!"
"Wtf is happening."
Then the truck collides with Humungus and both he and Assless Chaps Bikie die, but Max and Feral Kid don't because someone has gotta survive this thing.
The truck starts leaking it's contents which... turn out to be nothing but dirt. IT WAS EARTH ALL ALONG. SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE.
The real fuel was actually in the school bus that all the cult people were on. PLOT TWIST.
PLOT TWIST AGAIN: Feral Kid turns out to be the posh person narrating the whole movie. He reveals he made it to the Sunshine Coast with the cult, and they taught him to speak properly. So that's cool.
And Max is never seen or heard from again (at least until the next movie).
"Bye bitches."
Now he's just Sad Max. :(