Skip To Content

    I Have So Many Questions About The "Riverdale" Season 3 Premiere

    What the hell did I just watch?!

    1. Why is Archie wearing a BOW TIE to his trial?

    Netflix

    I mean, I know that's his ~aesthetic~, but it doesn't seem appropriate?

    2. And why is his mother his attorney?

    Netflix

    That doesn't seem like the best way to convince a jury he's innocent.

    3. Do you really expect me to believe Cheryl bothered to pair platform heels with her swimsuit, but didn't put on ANY sun protection?

    Netflix

    Yeah, she'd last about three minutes with that complexion (even if she's wearing sunscreen).

    4. Doesn't Jughead get hot in that hat?

    Netflix

    I know, I know, it's his thing. But surely he can have a summer version?

    Also, lol, the show DGAF about staying truthful to literally any other aspect of Jughead's character in the comics, so IDK why they care so much about his hat.

    5. How has Jughead not noticed that Hot Dog has been missing for THREE MONTHS?!!

    Netflix

    See my above point about the lack of faithfulness to Jughead's character. Jughead and Hot Dog should be inseparable. This is frankly offensive.

    6. Okay so we're really sticking with the ~Betty Cooper is the Serpent Queen~ thing?

    Netflix

    When Toni is RIGHT THERE?!

    Also, I mean, why are the teenagers who are literally still in high school the leaders of this gang, anyway?

    7. Why didn't they wear swimsuits?

    Netflix

    They went to this place explicitly to swim. But they didn't bother packing/wearing swimwear?

    8. Veronica asking what this place was implied she'd never been there before, but then when is this shot from the beginning of the episode supposed to have taken place?

    Netflix

    You know, where they're all actually wearing swimsuits?

    9. Also, are they not worried about the leeches anymore?

    Netflix

    10. And aren't they getting ravaged by mosquitos right about now?

    Netflix

    I guess horniness trumps mozzie bites.

    11. Why does this show feel the need to change genres every 10 episodes?

    Netflix

    I'm tired.

    12. Why is Archie like this?

    Netflix

    Brave, but stupid. More stupid than brave, really.

    13. Why is Hiram such a petty bitch?

    Netflix

    14. What do these symbols mean?

    Netflix

    15. Is this setting up for a Sabrina crossover?

    Netflix

    I know we've been told there's no magic in Riverdale, but it all feels very witchy.

    16. WAIT, DILTON IS DEAD?!

    Netflix

    17. WHAT THE WHAT?!??!!

    Netflix

    18. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!??!

    Netflix

    19. DID BETTY HALLUCINATE OR DID THOSE BABIES ACTUALLY FLOAT??!?!

    Netflix

    What happened to no magic in Riverdale?!???!!!?

    20. Why is Betty having a fit?

    Netflix

    21. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?!

    Netflix

    22. What the hell did I just watch?!

    Netflix

    TV and Movies

    Get all the best moments in pop culture & entertainment delivered to your inbox.

    Newsletter signup form