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19 Damn Funny Tweets That'll Make You Seen

"I've been hitting 'remind me tomorrow' on a computer update for the last 68 years."


TIERS OF FRIENDSHIP 4- we hang out 3- we can travel together 2- I would take a bullet for you 1- I will speak to you on phone


I’m just a girl Sitting in front of a computer Holding a phone Which is open to the same website as the computer I’m sitting in front of.


It's okay password, I'm insecure too.


Are we all ready to admit that "don't tell ANYONE" means you can tell exactly one person


does anyone remember when lol meant “laughing out loud” instead of “this is to indicate that this brief text isnt hostile”


me (after spending two hours watching old Vine compilations): how do people have time to listen to podcasts


I've been hitting "remind me tomorrow" on a computer update for the last 68 years.


I'm into ⚪️ Men ⚪️ Women 🔘 Researching the menu ahead of time so I know exactly what to order, including side dishes and dessert


"Haha": Normal, regular person "heh": Serious, likes a laugh but gets straight back to work "hehehe": Illegal in some states, be careful "lol": Obsessed with politics "lewl": Most apps wont even let you say this "Hah": Grew up rich


“What’s a toxic trait you have?” Me: i tend to eat the other person’s fries on the way home and i keep the one that is full


IKEA is a great place to hear “Babe?” 10,000 times in one afternoon.


*am 33 years old, sees my fifth-grade teacher* me: "Oh man, hi Mrs. Smith!" Mrs. Smith: "hi! you know you can call me Anne now, we're both adults!" me: "hahah absolutely not, have a nice summer though, great to see you, Mrs. Smith!"


me: [selects "send verification code as text" on a website] me three seconds later: oh boy a tex mesage


Mother: can you please fix my computer Me: *leans back in chair* well... well ... well ... if it isn’t Miss ‘Get Off That Computer’ Years 1994 to 2006


anyone: me: ok but i really feel like ur mad at me :/


Me looking for my Uber because I don’t know what a Toyota Corolla looks like


You know what I hate? I hate those toilet paper dispensers where you need the skills of a gynaecologist to coax the paper out through the small gap at the bottom.


This is a mood killer. Idc how happy you are


why didn’t anyone tell me that your perpetual state of existence after the age of 27 is just “tired”

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