29 Problems Only Australians Can Understand
Totally spewin' mate.
Everywhere you turn, you run into something that can kill you.
Seriously. The majority of the most venomous snakes in the world can be found Down Under.
And everything is covered in spiders.
Even the cute, fluffy animals can tear you apart.
This fills you with utter despair.
Going to Bunnings when they've run out of sausages ruins the rest of your day.
Getting anywhere takes FOREVER. Public transport is the worst.
You can drive for over 10 hours and still be in the same freaking state.
And it can take longer to fly to other parts of Australia than it does to fly to a whole other country.
But then if you want to travel anywhere overseas that isn't Middle Earth or Bali (for the 27th time), it's going to take you approximately 11,765 hours to get there.
Which means it costs an absolute motza.
Actually, you'd better not be too fond of your money, coz everything is pretty expensive.
Don't even think about ordering something from overseas, unless you want it sometime next year - or you really don't need your money.
And that's only if you're lucky enough to find somewhere that will actually ship to this far-off, distant land.
The internet is dangerous territory when something big in pop culture land is happening, coz despite being in the future, Australia is generally behind.
Sometimes REALLY behind.
Worst of all is hearing about this magical thing called "Netflix" and knowing you can't access it. Well, at least not legally.
Seriously, you take a population descended from thieves, restrict their access to all the cool things, and then tell them not to pirate.
There's even a political party dedicated to it.
Fangirl/boy problems aside, it's pretty weird to be out of sync with most of your internet friends. Like, your nightblogging is everyone else's normal blogging (and vice versa).
And people assume you can't spell. But really, THEY can't spell.
Sometimes you just plain can't understand each other.
Abbreviations and slang can be especially tricky.
People often don't get your humour.
When many are celebrating a White Christmas, you're too hot to even put a shirt on.
Admittedly, this isn't really a problem, except you miss out on those fetching Christmas jumpers.
Despite everyone's hilarious jokes, Arnold Schwarzenegger is still not Australian.
The weather varies between a drought and a flood.
But the absolute hardest part of living in Australia is being forced to take holidays because you've built up too much annual leave.
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