Buzz·Posted on 5 July 201727 Tweets That Will Make Women Piss Themselves Laughing"If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side."by Jenna GuillaumeEditor-at-Large, BuzzFeed AustraliaLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. maura quint @behindyourback *at my funeral* Friend crying over my casket: look they're burying her in her favorite dress Me, still dead: it haaasss pockets 08:29 PM - 03 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. madison 👼🏻🦇 @motheromance me after having a five minute conversation with a drunk girl im meeting for the first time 07:24 PM - 04 Apr 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. Bec Shaw @Brocklesnitch I can’t believe women used to have to wear shoulderpads, i’m so grateful menstruation moved to the vagina in the 90s. 05:33 PM - 01 Sep 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. priya @priya_ebooks o yeah u love women??? name their last three albums. thought so. u don't listen to women 05:30 AM - 07 Aug 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. k8e @kpfeffss I overheard a guy saying to his girlfriend "are you ready to fucking rage" as they walked into target together and that's what I want 08:27 PM - 25 Jun 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt Do men like being kicked in the sack? Women in new survey given after being shown this headline say yes. 01:06 PM - 20 Jun 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Siobhan Thompson @vornietom The Venn diagram of men who say women take too long to get ready and men who ask if you're sick when you're not wearing makeup is a circle. 08:32 PM - 20 Nov 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. wtf renaissance @WtfRenaissance My entire dating history. 05:35 AM - 06 May 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. JennyPentland @JennyPentland Birth control pills are like cute little advent calendars for a really shitty holiday. 05:39 AM - 18 Apr 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. shauna @goldengateblond Me: I look great today Fluorescent lights: I can fix that. 07:36 PM - 08 Feb 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Jillian David @JillianDavid13 Focus group. This could have been avoided with 1 focus group (of women). 11:56 AM - 03 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. ㅤㅤㅤ @pIayboigus if you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side 04:58 AM - 27 Jun 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Kermit @InnerKermit Me: I know exactly where I want to eat Inner me: Tell him you don't know 03:02 PM - 07 Feb 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. audrey farnsworth @audipenny I always feel like I'm forgetting something whenever I leave the house carrying less than like 9 purses full of garbage 06:20 AM - 16 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Frankie @phranqueigh I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, b/c I didn't immediately get out of his way as he was walking towards me & now he's perplexed. 12:00 AM - 25 Aug 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. Flora Flora 🦄 @Flora__Flora How does the little mermaid decide which creatures are her friends and which ones are her bra 07:01 PM - 29 Jun 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. Lolita @LolitaDrugs me everytime 07:05 PM - 11 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Aimee @Mimiification When a man tells me he's looking for a 'real woman' I scurry away because I'm actually three owls in a raincoat AND HE MUSTN'T FIND OUT. 08:09 AM - 01 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. Gabby Noone @twelveoclocke Behind every strong woman is 5 other strong women who proofread her email real quick when they had a second 09:35 PM - 25 Apr 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. Sophia Benoit @1followernodad You can complain all you want about women taking selfies; we aren't the ones naming our children our own exact fucking names. 11:09 PM - 25 May 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. Amanda Mancino @Manda_like_wine When you shave for the first time in months. 09:27 PM - 08 Jan 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. maura quint @behindyourback 20 Things That Women Should Stop Wearing After The Age of 30 1-20: The weight of other people's expectations & judgments 03:55 PM - 03 Jun 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. what @chanelpuke When someone does you wrong then tries to come back into your life but you already told your mom about them 02:18 AM - 14 Jun 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. SpookySandwich @MarisaLange If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a 7 day mission. 07:08 PM - 19 Nov 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 25. ebony @ebs_rose are you even a girl if you don't tell people you're wearing jeans and a nice top ???? 11:29 AM - 19 Jun 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 26. Deirdre @figgled Beauty & the Beast review 1. I'd fuck Gaston 2. I'd fuck the Beast 3. I have not had sex in a very long time 4. I will fuck the kettle 04:53 AM - 06 May 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 27. Amy Dillon @amydillon "How do you find anything in here?!" -my mugger, giving my purse back 10:49 PM - 21 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite