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100 Genius Tweets From 2017 That Broke The 100K Retweet Barrier

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"but you said your 5 mins away" First of all I didn't say where I'm 5 mins away from

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Felt cute in this pic might delete soon tho

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I told my brother he can eat half of my grapes

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See you in court Palmer Paint Products

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Went to see IT, I'm first in the screen and this fucking guy's just sitting there.

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I overheard a guy saying to his girlfriend "are you ready to fucking rage" as they walked into target together and that's what I want

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she took the midnight train going anywhere

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Thanks for the clarification, Dad.

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"Wow 3 tattoos.. those are pretty permanent you know" Me: wow 3 kids... those are pretty damn permanent CAROL

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my sister is about to have a baby and my brother showed up to the hospital in a suit because "first impressions mat… https://t.co/zWzJZPrWBs

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[concert] SINGER: hows everyone doin tonight CROWD: woo ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): it's actually been a tough few months

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!!!!!!!!! WHO DID THIS TO MY INNOCENT MOTHER !!!!!!!!

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Stranger Things Stranger Things 2 Strangers and Things 2 Strange 4 Things 5 Things The Strange and the Things: Tokyo Drift Strangest 7

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Not really how I imagined the second coming

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Some baby on this plane is singing the ABCs all out of order and a guy just shouted "yes girl remix!!"

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this is what my friends send me on the regular basis and I just have to show it to the world...

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Asked me mum if she could bring my charger down stairs, she replied "shout the dog"

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my mom yesterday: do u work tomorrow me: yes my mom today: do u work today me: yes i already told u my mom when i'm at work: where are u

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Imagine carrying 18 dumbbells to the court tryna look cool just to get overshadowed by a old man hitting free throws

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When your sister forces you to spend time with her new boyfriend:

31.

Some dude just called me a pussy for putting on sunscreen. Imagine thinking you're tougher than the sun? The fucking sun?

32.

My favourite part of this is the caption saying the President (left)

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“SANDRA CAN YOU OPEN THIS FUCKING THING BIT OF A SITUATION HERE”

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not sure what I'm supposed to do with this information

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My dog's ear is like the perfect picture to show your hairdresser if you want beachy waves and caramel highlights

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is it worth IT? lemme work IT i put my thang down flip IT and reverse IT

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Uber driver: ........... Me: .......... Uber driver: .......... Me: 5 stars.

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Me: *dies* People to my boyfriend: it's okay to get back out there, she'd want you to move on Me in heaven:

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me replying back to people .02 seconds after they text me

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Beyoncé: *uses iPhone X facial recognition* iPhone X:

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girls these days at 2 vs. me when I was 2

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SOMEONE TOOK THE TIME TO TRACE OUT THE DISNEY STARS' WAND IN THE AWKWARD COMMERICAL OUTTAKES I'M WHEEZING THE LIFE… https://t.co/u4pMfK4eZ4

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"Babe can you move over?" "But I don't have mushroom"

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Any 2 white guys could walk up to me and say "we're The Chainsmokers" and I'd believe them.

58.

My dog saw a dog that looked exactly like her

Twitter: @LeoBlakeCarter

59.

*opens instagram* yep, everyone's life is still better than mine *closes instagram* *opens twitter* ah yes. my fellow trash bretheren.

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Bad news: I accidentally washed a nice wool shirt that I really loved and it shrunk a LOT Good news:

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Cashier: Sorry for your wait! We're short staffed Millennial: It's fine! Don't worry! 😁 Middle Aged Woman:

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when she says she only dates good boys

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yall tired of boiling water every time you make pasta? boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later.

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Lmao dude on Facebook said he been waiting 4 hours for the P to fall so he could sue Walmart

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High school teachers: I'm MRS. HARDASS and you will take me SERIOUSLY College profs: what up I'm Josh and class is cancelled cuz I'm tired

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When he tells you to lose the attitude

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I was trying to hit the bucket of drinks and make them go all over my Mum for the intro of a video we're making but… https://t.co/2WNPSv0M3q

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Me setting my alarm for every 5 minutes in the morning

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Prince Harry's kids will be Americans. What if one grows up to be president and is in line for the throne at the sa… https://t.co/WTTLv8OFmZ

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my ubereats delivery man decided to be a smart ass......

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I JUST WANTED A VIDEO OF THE CATS PLAYING AND THEN ?!!!??

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I'm gonna power the whole country.

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Fam lmaooo. This is hilarious. Just watch.

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I got Kiwi a lil goth gf 🖤💛💚

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so doggy school exists and this little guy is so excited to go 😫

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me overthinking how I said "here" during attendance

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Star Wars, but all of the light saber sounds are Owen Wilson saying "wow"

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did everyone just forget about the part of 2016 when literal clowns would chase people with knives in public and nobody really did anything

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I'm ☠️☠️☠️ yall lol 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 & can't STOP laughing at all!!!

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Bill Nye just walked into our elevator while I was snap chatting..

97.

Just so we’re clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.

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1970: By 2017 we will have flying cars 2017: