Let me set the scene. It's Friday afternoon, I'm sitting at my desk, cleaning off my desktop so I can see Chris Hemsworth's abs better, pretty much done working for the week.
And I get a message from my photo editor that Ronaldo's thighs are "up for grabs".
My interest is piqued, because, like Lucy Liu in Set It Up, I am a renowned sports reporter and this is my beat.
This is a photo of my boss doing a public presentation about how good my sports reporting is.
I took one look at these Ronaldo photos and agreed that they did, indeed, need to be shared with the world.
Without further ado, I present: Cristiano Ronaldo's thighs.
They are just some real smooth thighs.
Ronaldo, it seems, uses them for ball-kicking.
He plays football, you see.
There's, like, a really big football event happening at the moment.
It's called the World Cup.
Players from each country battle it out for who has the biggest cup.
It's too bad it's not about who has the best thighs.
If it were, I think we all know who would win.
Because boy, does he have thighs.