You know Chris Evans: Captain America, owner of a great beard, and operator of the best Twitter account in the world.
1. He posts about his dog, Dodger, a lot.
Two seconds later he full-body sneezed directly into my face.
2. It's perfect every single time.
Homebodies
3. Like, there was the year he celebrated Valentine's Day with Dodger.
Happy Valentine’s Day from this pair of dysfunctional codependents.
4. Except that was EVERY year.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! From me and this desperate social climber.
5. Seriously.
❤️ #HappyValentines
6. He also celebrates other holidays with Dodger, of course.
Happy #InternationalDogDay
7. Including Christmas. And yes, that is Dodger's own Knives Out sweater!!
🎄
8. Speaking of which, here's Chris with Dodger on the set of Knives Out, in THE sweater, months before any of us even knew about THE sweater.
Kinda stole Dodger’s color scheme on set today.
9. Here's Chris without the sweater, but still with Dodger, naturally.
Every morning.
10. Sometimes, Chris unleashes his full dorky dog dad, and it is everything.
'Excuse me, are u busy? Could I interest u in chasing squirrels with me outside? Or perhaps u could toss the frisbee? I have no plans today'
11. Like, look at this tweet! The censored "f*ck"? This is art.
“I’ve been watching you sleep for the last hour trying to organize my thoughts. I’m not sure how to say this so I’m just gonna come right out with it. Why the f*ck do we never go to the dog park anymore??? Also wake the hell up, I’m starving”
12. And this video of Dodger's bedtime adventures is genuinely full of so much drama and tension. Poetic cinema!
Dodger has a lion that he loves dearly. He brings it to bed every single night. Yesterday, my buddy Josh bought him a new lion for Xmas. It immediately caused competition and uncertainty. Dodger was torn. The big question was who would get the highly coveted bedtime invite? 🎄🦁
13. Chris's attempt to give Dodger a quarantine cut will definitely make you laugh.
I assured him I knew what I was doing. He seemed skeptical at first, but with the help of a few treats, I talked him into it. It went so wrong, so fast. I guess some things are better left to the professionals. (He hasn’t seen a mirror yet. I told him it looks great)
14. But Chris visiting Dodger when he was still a shelter dog will probably just make you cry.
In honor of #LoveYourPetDay here’s some extremely rare footage of me calling Dodger ‘Benny’. That’s the name the shelter gave him when he came in as a stray. He was there for about a month. I can’t believe no one snagged him sooner! This is our first ‘hangout’ at the shelter.
15. Dodger isn't the only dog Chris gets excited about — in fact, he gets excited about all dogs!
You guys! A dog is sledding! A dog. Is SLEDDING! Everything’s gonna be ok. https://t.co/C3IwwEd9Mv
16. And also...foxes and badgers? WHOLESOME.
I’m choosing to believe that the coyote sounds like Michael J. Fox and the badger sounds like Sam Elliot and they’re best friends on an adventure. https://t.co/oqVCEb37VY
17. Chris is also extremely relatable.
I can’t tell if my car’s decision to not number the volume is easing my anxiety or making it worse. I only wanna hear music on an even number.
18. Captain America! He's just like us!
I woke up this morning, showered, got dressed, arrived at my morning meeting, only to realize that today is in fact, Sunday. NOT Monday.
19. Like, I felt this tweet in my soul.
I don’t think I have ever, even once in my life, plugged a USB cable in right-side up on the first try.
20. Chris Evans even loves Stanley Tucci just as much as everyone else.
I. Love. Stanley. Tucci. On some(most) days after we finished filming on the first Captain America movie, Stanley would make us martinis in his trailer. He’s an absolute gem. However cool, fun, witty, and charming you think he is, double it and you’re halfway there. https://t.co/mEJzuV8oAH
21. You know what else Chris Evans is super into? Space. He's a big ol' space nerd. It's the best.
I stood up and began pacing while reading this. “But because black holes are incredibly adept at crushing down matter, a black hole equivalent to roughly five Earth-masses would be only about the size of a baseball” FIVE earth-masses?!? There’s so much magic everywhere, always. https://t.co/AiMb7E1wCJ
22. He also makes amazing jokes like this.
Geez. I didn't realize how tall I look when we stand side by side. https://t.co/kCDk9vezW9
23. He also shares cool behind-the-scenes videos and photos from set. Like the iconic choreo for THAT elevator scene.
Elevator....
24. Basically, he has the only good Twitter account. Here's another picture of Dodger if you need more proof.
The longer I stare at this the better it gets