I Rewatched The Original “Charlie’s Angels” Movie And Had A Lot Of Thoughts
The year 2000 was truly a wild time.
1. That flight attendant just watched that couple go into the toilet to bang and said nothing.
2. Why is this plane SO RED? This movie’s production design is very cartoony.
3. LL COOL J??? I have no memory of him being in this movie.
4. “Another movie from an old TV show.” I see what you did there.
5. Here’s Lucy! And she’s jumping from a helicopter.
6. Oh hi, Cameron! Omg her colored diamante sunglasses are giving me flashbacks. I had three pairs and I loved them so much.
7. Now where is Drew…?
8. Wait. I have a vague memory...it’s coming back to me...it’s not...she’s not? IS SHE LL COOL J?
9. Oh shit, she is.
11. The flashbacks to them as teens is iconic.
12. Oh my god. Tom Green. Remember when he was married to Drew Barrymore for like five minutes?
13. Aw, that Nokia is making me super nostalgic.
14. I miss seeing Cameron Diaz in new movies, she is so damn charming.
15. This Cameron Diaz butt dancing scene is one of the only things I actually remember from this movie. I bought underwear just like hers and danced in front of the mirror just like this and...I did not look like her. But boy did I try.
16. “You can just feel free to stick things in my slot.” This is bad. But when I was 13, I definitely thought it was the height of comedy.
17. MATT LEBLANC IS IN THIS???
18. Lucy Liu baking muffins in that leather corset is...a real vibe.
19. “Charlie’s a chick though, right?” SHE IS NOW.
20. I am cackling at Cameron and Drew hurling muffins at each other.
21. I love Bill Murray as Bosley.
22. The early ‘00s were an interesting time in hair. Like Drew has exactly two (2) curls on either side of her head, and the rest is straight. Wild.
23. I forgot Tim Curry was in this.
24. Omg. The French tips on Lucy Liu’s toenails. Please can that trend never come back.
25. Oh no these outfits are low-key cultural appropriation, and OH NO, THEY ARE PLAYING “TURNING JAPANESE” TO BOOT.
26. The year 2000. What a time.
27. YAAASS "INDEPENDENT WOMEN". A BOP.
28. Luke Wilson!!! I clearly forgot every single man that was in this movie.
29. That hair flip. Cameron Diaz just GLOWS onscreen.
30. This sumo bit is…a choice.
31. Crispin Glover is so damn creepy here.
32. Sam Rockwell staged his own kidnapping, right?
33. “It would turn every phone into a homing device.” “The end of privacy.” Oh. We’re well past that now, huh.
34. These outfits at the racecourse are incredible. They were the epitome of sexy to past me. And now me, let’s be real.
35. There must be so many germs on that steering wheel and Drew just licked it. Ew.
36. Oh no, now they’re belly dancing. There is so much cultural appropriation in this movie.
37. WAIT DREW IS LITERALLY IN BROWNFACE RN WHAT.
38. A whole mess.
39. Okay, but Lucy Liu in a leather suit flanked by Drew and Cameron in drag is exactly the content I came to see.
40. MELISSA MCCARTHY??!
41. I tried to emulate Drew Barrymore’s green eyeshadow when I was young and it did not go well.
42. Is that Tony Stark’s mansion?
43. Ohhhh Sam Rockwell’s dad’s friend was Charlie, right? This whole thing is some revenge mission?
44. Oh my god! Cameron’s asymmetrical red top! I wanted it so badly!
45. This movie has so many slow-mo shots of Cameron smiling and flipping her hair and honestly, I get it.
46. Remember when we thought bright white eyeshadow was a good idea?
47. These fight scenes are so much fun.
48. The moral of this movie is that all men do is lie.
49. But Sam Rockwell suddenly became 27 times hotter now that he’s out as the bad guy?
50. Bill Murray having a deep and meaningful conversation with that bird is the funniest scene in this whole thing.
51. Oh no, Tom Green is back.
52. Is...is Bill Murray eating soap?
53. Oh, he fashioned a gun out of it with his teeth. Sure.
54. Of COURSE Tom Green’s character’s name is The Chad. He is SUCH a Chad.
55. Yes, Sam Rockwell dancing around dressed in all black is very good.
56. There are so many cleavage shots in this movie.
57. Now is really not the time to take phone calls from Luke Wilson, Cameron. Even if he is cute.
58. That bird really saved all their asses.
59. Cameron is STILL talking to Luke? DO YOUR JOB, GIRL.
60. That Nokia would not have smashed like that when it was thrown against the concrete; those things will survive the apocalypse.
61. I wonder what lipstick Drew is wearing, it’s a really good color.
62. I loooooooooove this scene where she beats all these bad guys with her hands tied together.
63. “And that’s kicking your ass!!” Iconic.
64. She can’t moonwalk though.
65. Watching Drew kick Sam Rockwell in the face is very satisfying.
66. RIP my dude.
67. “I think the client was blown away.” Best line of the movie.
68. They look so gooood in this beach scene.
69. Why has Charlie kept the photo with Sam Rockwell’s dad framed in his house if that guy betrayed him? Make it make sense.
70. Throwing alcohol around like that is just a waste.
71. And now Blink-182 is playing. No wonder 13-year-old me was so obsessed with this movie.
72. So...that did not age well AT ALL. But I still love Lucy, Cameron, and Drew and will cherish them as Charlie’s Angels forever.
73. Now I’m off to go watch Kristen Stewart kick some butt all over again.