1. Sleeping Beauty
Plot: After being snubbed by the royal family, a malevolent fairy places a curse on Princess Aurora — a curse that only Ryan Gosling can break. Unfortunately, Ryan Gosling is having a baby with Eva Mendes, so Princess Aurora is shit out of luck.
2. Beauty and the Beast
Plot: Belle, whose father is imprisoned by a beast, offers herself in his place and discovers her captor to be Ryan Gosling.
3. The Princess and the Frog
Plot: Tiana falls in love with a frog because its head looks like Ryan Gosling.
4. The Little Mermaid
Plot: A mermaid princess makes a bargain with an unscrupulous sea witch in order to meet Ryan Gosling.
5. The Lion King
Plot: Lion cub and future king Ryan Gosling searches for his identity. His eagerness to please others and penchant for testing his boundaries sometimes gets Eva Mendes pregnant.
Plot: Fearless optimist Ryan Gosling teams up with Ryan Gosling in a race to find Ryan Gosling’s sister, Ryan Gosling, whose icy powers have trapped the kingdom in eternal winter.
- An earthquake that struck central Italy Wednesday has killed at least 73 people, officials say. 150 people are still missing.
- Turkish forces have launched an offensive to help Syrian rebels take the border town of Jarabulus from ISIS and keep it out of Kurdish hands.
- And Donald Trump has often claimed to be "the largest real estate developer in New York." He isn't.