If Home Alone were made today...
1. Kevin would immediately google Buzz's fake story about the South Bend Shovel Slayer and figure out that Old Man Marley was never a murderer.
2. Buzz and Rod would browse some Instagram location tags to find out if Paris had nude beaches.
3. Kevin would use his phone to translate "les incompétents" in a matter of seconds.
4. The pizza guy would be paid through a delivery app and wouldn't have to wait around for 30 minutes.
5. Kevin would google "how to pack a suitcase" and wouldn't have to run around asking his rude siblings for help, which also means he would be downstairs in time to grab a slice of cheese pizza.
6. The McCallisters would set phone alarms to wake themselves up on time, so it wouldn't matter if the house lost power for a few hours.
7. If that didn't work, the parents would probably use mobile passes to save time at the airport and realize that Kevin was missing in the process.
8. If that failed, TSA would slow the family down and someone would surely realize Kevin was missing.
9. After searching the house for his family, Kevin would text someone to make sure he 100% made them disappear.
10. The McCallisters would send an Uber to take Kevin to the airport so he could be put on the next flight to Paris.
11. Kevin would have access to Netflix, etc., so he wouldn't be limited to Angels With Filthy Souls as the only option to scare the pizza guy and the criminals.
12. Kevin would use the "special notes" box to tell the pizza guy to leave his delivery on the stoop.
13. Kevin would use Amazon Prime to have his groceries delivered.
14. The grocery delivery would save him some time, which means he'd be able to finish his macaroni and cheese before Harry and Marv arrived.
15. He'd use a cellphone to call the cops as soon as the criminals were in his house, but honestly it is very unlikely that Kevin would still be home alone at this point.
BONUS: If Home Alone 2: Lost in New York were made today...
