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I Photoshopped Donald Trump Onto "The Bachelorette" Because Nothing Is Sacred

Featuring 100% real Donald Trump quotes and 100% real quotes from The Bachelorette.

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If Donald Trump were on The Bachelorette, he would show up in his own limo just as JoJo was shouting, "Bring on the men!"

ABC / Via abc.go.com

But he would be the only passenger.

Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / Matthew Cavanaugh / Getty Images

First, he'd make a quick announcement.

Trump quote source.
Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / Scott Olson / Getty Images / ABC

Trump quote source.

And JoJo would be like:

ABC

Mid-hug, Trump would whisper in JoJo's ear.

Trump quote source.
Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / John Sommers Ii / Getty Images / ABC

Trump quote source.

Meanwhile, the real love of Trump's life would already be waiting inside.

ABC

Naturally, Donald Trump and Chad would be quick friends.

Chad quote source.
Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / Justin Sullivan / Getty Images / ABC

Chad quote source.

Trump would even share his go-to dating advice!

Trump quote source.
Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / Justin Sullivan / Getty Images / ABC

Trump quote source.

And then they'd make fun of this guy for a while.

ABC

Between confessionals with his new friend Chad, Trump would find JoJo and tell her his relationship goals.

Trump quote source.
Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / Scott Olson / Getty Images / ABC

Trump quote source.

And JoJo would be like:

Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / Spencer Platt / Getty Images / ABC

Before the rose ceremony, he would lay it all out for his fellow contestants.

Trump quote source.
Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / Molly Riley / AFP / Getty Images / ABC

Trump quote source.

And they'd be like:

ABC

To everyone's surprise, Trump would receive the first rose of the ceremony.

JoJo quote source.
Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / Spencer Platt / Getty Images / ABC

JoJo quote source.

And Robby would be like:

ABC

At this point, Chad would start to turn on Trump.

Chad quote source.
Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / ABC

Chad quote source.

And Trump would do the same.

Trump quote source.
Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / Molly Riley / AFP / Getty Images / ABC

Trump quote source.

The producers would sense this tension and send Trump and Chad on a 2-on-1 date in the woods.

Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / Molly Riley / AFP / Getty Images / ABC

Within minutes, Chad would threaten Trump.

Chad quote source.
Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / ABC

Chad quote source.

And Trump would change the subject to something he hopes they can both agree on.

Trump quote source.
Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / Mike Ehrmann / Getty Images / ABC

Trump quote source.

At some point, JoJo would get up and walk away.

ABC

And Trump and Chad would be left to shoot the shit...

Chad quote source.
ABC / Thinkstock

Chad quote source.

...expecting JoJo to come back...

Trump quote source.
Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / Mike Ehrmann / Getty Images / ABC

Trump quote source.

...but she never will.

Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / ABC

Chad quote source.

The end.

Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed / ABC

Trump quote source and Chad quote source.

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