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17. I'm the only idiot who still lives at home with their parents. I have to get out of here!
16. But all my friends are getting married!
15. Shit, even my little sister is getting married.
14. And I'm still getting drunk
13. I'm almost 30 and my entire family thinks there's something wrong with me because I'm single.
12. I also want my mom to stop thinking I'm a lesbian.
11. I just want to settle down already. I'm sick of going out on dates and having sex with boys that I don't like, just to pass the time.
10. I need health insurance because there's always something wrong with me.
9. And I really don’t want to work ever again.
8. I want to listen to Taylor Swift songs without crying.
7. So what if I'm still technically a baby. I want to be a young mom and have my own baby!
6. I want to have sex, like, all the time.
5. I want to have a really big party and invite 200 people that I don't know to celebrate me marrying somebody that I don't really like.
4. I just really want a bachelorette party.
3. I'm also dying to imitate this photo.
2. I've had a boyfriend for a really long time… so, marriage seems like the next step.
1. He proposed and I felt bad saying, "No".
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