back to top

23 Life Hacks According To "Gossip Girl"

Life hack: fake your own death. (Disclaimer: We don't endorse any of this, xoxo.)

Posted on

1. If people think you're an immature girl, wear very heavy black eyeliner to the point were no one can deny your adulthood.

The CW

2. Don't be from Brooklyn. That's disgusting.

The CW

3. If you're ever mildly upset about anything, get a revenge scheme in motion.

The CW

4. Sell your woman for a hotel.

The CW

5. If your man sells you for a hotel, make him pay, but still take him back.

The CW

6. If you sleep with your BFF's boyfriend, just run away for a year and cut off all contact. It'll be fine when you come back.

The CW

7. Make Jesus owe you one.

8. Have a threesome with your childhood best friend and Hilary Duff.

The CW

9. If your brother goes to jail for sleeping with a minor, track that bitch down, date her ex, drug her, then fuck off when it all goes pear-shaped.

The CW

10. Live in a hotel.

The CW

11. Never take the subway. Ever.

The CW

12. Fake your own death.

The CW

13. Bonus: let your son think it was his fault.

The CW

14. Don't let the fact that you're married get in the way of fucking your ex-boyfriend.

The CW

15. If someone's being boring, drug them.

The CW

16. Don't be poor.

The CW

17. Don't bother with university. You'll end up running a magazine.

The CW

And banging your boss, Liz Hurley, along the way.

18. If you want to get a girl who's above you socially, start a bitchy blog about her and stalk her for years.

The CW

19. Tell your ex-wife she has cancer as a ploy to get her back.

The CW

20. Write an exposé about your rich friends if you want to become the next J.D. Salinger.

The CW

21. Eat a lot of waffles.

The CW

22. Get married to a prince, then leave him at your wedding reception for your emotionally abusive ex.

The CW

23. And finally, marry your stepsister.

The CW