1. I’m going to start doing this every week and become so flexible and zen.
2. OMG theres so many people in this room already, where do I put my mat?
3. I don’t want to be too close to anyone.
4. This room smells like feet.
5. This mat smells like feet.
6. Ok, sit on my mat with my crossed legs. I can do this.
7. * trying to clear the mind *
8. I gotta remember to buy more milk later.
9. Oh right, I’m supposed to have a clear mind.
10. The teacher just asked us to go into the Uttanasana pose. What…?
11. I’ll just copy the guy in front of me.
12. Wow I’m really not wearing the right clothes for this.
13. I probably am not getting the most relaxing experience if I have to pull my top down every two seconds.
14. I should buy some proper yoga clothes.
15. But those yoga pants are like $50!
16. Oh right, focus my mind.
17. Downward dog… This isn’t too bad.
18. Oh god, all the blood is rushing to my head.
19. I think I have really weak wrists.
20. Should they be hurting like this?
21. * sneaky side glance to see how everyone else is doing *
22. OMG how does that guy look so peaceful doing this?
23. I have the shakes.
24. Oh no. Don’t fart don’t fart.
26. Phew. Going out of downward dog now.
27. It is more difficult to balance on one leg than I would have thought.
28. Is it bad form to put my finger in my ear for balance?
30. Oh right, focus on breathing.
31. Crap, is my phone on silent?
32. That reminds me, I forgot to reply to that text message.
33. Why can’t I focus?!
34. This is supposed to be relaxing but all I can think about is how I can’t think about nothing.
35. I’m hungry.
36. I totally deserve a huge meal after this workout.
37. Yoga counts as strenuous exercise, right?
38. Hmmm what am I going to have for dinner?
39. Wow, I’m so inflexible I can’t even touch my toes.
40. That dude in front of me has his palms flat on the ground without bending his knees. HOW?!
41. I’m in a room full of show offs.
42. It’s not a competition, buddy.
43. Wow, I really need a pedicure.
44. How much longer is this class?
45. This is really not making me feel more zen.
46. Focus on your breathing. You can do it.
47. Oh man if I did yoga every week I could get really good in bed…
48. I hope I don’t look like I’m thinking about sex.
49. But really, who hasn’t had that thought in a yoga class?
50. I wonder if I look good in this position.
51. Probably not.
52. Thank god I don’t know anyone here.
53. Is this class even worth $18?
54. Probably will be when I’m a super-toned yoga goddess.
55. Finding it really difficult to clear my mind.
56. Wow it seems that I am surrounded by dancers/circus freaks.
57. YES! The best part of the class where we get to lie on our mats and close our eyes.
58. This is just like nap time in preschool.
59. Why was I so against nap time as a kid? This is brilliant!
60. Wait, why is that guy leaving during the best part of the class?
61. I hope I don’t fall asleep.
62. Ok, so this is pretty relaxing. I’m starting to feel the zen.
63. Why can’t yoga just be an hour of this?
64. I’m still hungry.
65. I think I can hear someone snoring.
66. Oh… class is over? Can’t we have five more minutes of nap time?
67. I should come to yoga more often.
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- Bill O'Reilly apologized after making what some are calling an "openly racist" remark about congresswoman Maxine Water's hair.