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23 Things You Hear As An Australian Overseas

No, we're actually not all pro surfers with pet kangaroos.

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1. "You must be so good at surfing!"

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Hahahahaha no.

2. "Put another shrimp on the barbie!"

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Firstly, it's prawn not shrimp. Secondly, no.

3. "Do you actually LIKE Vegemite?"

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Yes. It is the food of the gods.

4. "I'd love to go there but I can't handle the 24-hour plane ride!"

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Please. Sydney to L.A. is only 13 hours.

5. "You all drink Fosters there, don't you?!"

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It's actually worse than VB.

6. "Oh yeah, I've heard about the drop bears there."

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Yes, they are actually very real. Fear for your life.

7. "Have you ever ridden a kangaroo?"

Well how else would I get to school every morning?
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Well how else would I get to school every morning?

8. "But you don't have an Australian accent!"

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That's because we don't all talk like Steve Irwin.

9. "Oh, I've always wanted to visit New Zealand!"

Good to hear buddy, but we're not the same thing.
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Good to hear buddy, but we're not the same thing.

10. "How can you be Australian if you're not super tanned?"

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Contrary to popular belief, we don't all just lie around on the beach every day.

11. "So what language do you speak there?"

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Sorry, what?

12. Is it really summer there? Because it's winter over here!

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Yes. That is how the hemispheres work. Well done.

13. "G'DAY MATE!"

14. "Oh my god, I love Hugh Jackman/Kylie Minogue/Steve Irwin/Nicole Kidman!"

15. "Ugh, it's so hot there, how do you survive?"

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We have actually developed super powers to deal with the heat.

16. "You Australians sure know how to drink!"

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Listen, buddy, I'll have you know that Australia isn't even in the top 20 of countries that consume the most alcohol. I'll drink to that!

17. "You call that a knife?"

18. "Have you got internet there yet?"

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Only on Tuesdays.

19. "Everything is so expensive there!"

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I know.

20. "Are your ancestors all convicts?"

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Fun fact: Only 22% of living Australians can trace their ancestry back to English convicts. Boom.

21. "Is it difficult to drive on the opposite side of the road?"

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It is, but as long as we concentrate we're usually OK.

22. "Your country has no culture."

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Sorry, what about the past 40,000 years that humans have lived here?

23. "Every animal there is so dangerous!"

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Sure, we have deadly snakes, spiders, marine life, and dogs, but we also have these hairballs who sleep for 20 hours a day.