1. It's impossible to order a coffee or interact with a human, without a mention of the weather.
If you're in Sydney, mention the weather to strangers. They might not realise its hot and will appreciate the heads up.
2. Every second photo on Facebook is a weather app screenshot, or a photo of a car thermometer.
3. Your Snap stories tab is filled with temperature shots.
was there even a way to check the temperature before snapchat?
4. Oh, and your Instagram is filled with people at the beach or eating açai bowls.
5. You always need to carry an umbrella, but also sunglasses.
6. Trains become sweat boxes, to the point where you're getting a free sauna detox every time you ride.
7. Saturday traffic is 1000 times worse than usual, especially on roads that lead to the beach.
8. And you have to learn to be okay with driving your car with two fingers, or keeping actual gloves in the glove box.
9. The Macca's soft serve machine is broken every time you feel like one.
10. And your desire to drink a Slurpee increases by about a thousand.
11. You find yourself wanting to spend all day inside crowded shopping centres, just to escape the heat.
12. Beer gardens and outdoor bars are filled with people drinking overpriced rosé.
13. And people are constantly walking around barefoot.
14. Which means there's a lot of hobbling, either due to bindis or hot pavement.
YA DONT KNOW PAIN UNTIL YOU RUN ACROSS A FIELD OF GRASS NOT KNOWING ITS COVERED IN FUCKIN BINDIS
15. You can see everyone's thong lines.
16. And you can spot tradies from a mile off.
17. All your chocolate is either melted, or is that gross chalky consistency that comes from temperature changes.
18. Insects are EVERYWHERE, not just in your laundry.
Just crawled out of the air-con vent. #spider #straya
19. So you have to make some tough choices.
