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29 Things You Go Through After Minor Surgery

I'm sorry, did you just say bedpan?

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1. So you've found out that you have to have a minor operation.

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2. Your first thought is the recovery, and how much time you can potentially wrangle off work.

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3. As the day of your surgery approaches, you get a little nervous but try not to think about people with their hands inside your insides.

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4. You get as many movies and TV shows as your computer can hold to keep you entertained in hospital.

5. And you sneak some snacks along too because who knows what kind of crap they're going to give you to eat afterward.

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6. The day of your surgery, you're not allowed to eat and suddenly you're getting random cravings for food you don't even like.

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7. Once you get to the hospital, you're disappointed that none of your doctors look like McDreamy or McSteamy.

8. Then they make you put on a gown and compression socks which are just the height of fashion.

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9. They wheel you through to the OR and you wonder if anyone's gotten lost while wheeling a patient around.

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10. You get injected with some sort of relaxant which actually just makes you feel like you've had a few drinks.

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11. Actually, this feels really good. You wonder if you can ask to take some home with you.

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12. The anaesthetist tells you to count backwards and you're out like a light, secretly hoping that you'll go on a drug-induced trip to Hogwarts.

13. Suddenly you're waking up in post-op, though it feels like no time has passed at all.

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14. But you're still super looped up on anaesthesia so you're probably really embarrassing yourself.

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15. As it all starts to wear off, you're so incredibly thankful for pain medication.

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16. But then you need to pee. And the nurse tells you that you have to use a bedpan.

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17. And it is very humiliating.

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18. Your 'food' arrives...

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19. Then the boredom of a hospital room really starts to set in.

20. You try to watch TV but the screen is way too tiny and high up the wall.

21. Once the doctors and nurses give you the all clear, you're ready to go home!

22. And you enter the most immobile state possible.

23. Though you've been dreaming about it for weeks, you quickly begin to get bored of doing absolutely nothing.

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24. You begin living vicariously through your Twitter feed.

25. You watch every DVD in the house.

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26. And you read all the books you'd never got around to finishing before.

27. FINALLY you're almost fully recovered and you can start walking around and ACTUALLY LEAVE THE HOUSE!

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28. You've never been so happy just to be outside!

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29. Until a week later when you're back at your desk but dreaming of your couch.