1. Ezra and Aria are acting like exes, not two people who are meant to be getting married.
2. Like seriously Ezra, that’s all you have to say to Aria, your fiancé who you basically ghosted?!
3. Also its pretty rude of Nicole to rock up at Aria’s house out of nowhere and take her bed? I know she thought it was Ezra’s apartment but also girl get some manners.
4. Is it just me, or have we never seen Aria and Ali hang out before outside of a group situation?
5. “They don’t understand the whole Nicole situation.” NEITHER DO I.
6. OK HOW did A.D. get the game into Ali’s house WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING??? That box is FUCKEN HUGE.
7. So Spencer comforts her ex over his dead wife and then jumps into bed with Daddy Fury. Go figure.
8. Also Marco is just a bad cop, he didn’t notice someone breaking into the house while he slept, and removing a GIANT electronic board game from a small cupboard and sneaking out with it.
9. He’s got a good body though. Too bad he’s old as shit.
10. Emily was tailing Sydney until four in the morning? They live in a TINY town, what the fuck was she doing at 4am? Does Rosewood have some underground club we’ve never heard of?
11. And how did she solve NOTHING from doing that? I hope reintroducing Sydney gives us some answers because all it’s done so far is confuse me more.
12. Paige is being such a little whiny bitch and Emily is just taking the bait and getting upset about her moving. Dammit Emily.
13. Why did they bring Paige back just to ship her off so soon?
14. SLUT DADDY HASTINGS IS BACKKKKK.
15. Imagine every Father’s Day from now on, you’d just buy him some condoms.
16. “I made a big mistake...” Um, try two mistakes Peter. That we know of anyway.
17. Imagine Peter Hastings on Maury Povich. “You’re DEFINITELY the father!”
18. Also, great idea slut daddy, leave the most dodgy things on top of your briefcase, open, in front of the door.
19. So Alison will plan to terminate the pregnancy until she finds out it’s from Emily’s eggs right?That’s where this is going, I presume.
20. Ok, $20 says that AD’s next board game thing is going to interfere with Ali’s abortion. There is no way she’s gonna go through with it.
21. Nicole’s therapist recommended… lying to her? Sounds like he went to the same medical school as Rollins.
22. Honestly Ezra this apology is not good enough. Aria, don’t forgive him!
23. I know that Rollins’ finger is an important piece in the puzzle but I honestly can’t bring myself to get worked up about it.
24. I feel like at this point in the game I’d just give up and go to jail, and probably be happier there tbh.
25. OK this episode is giving us absolutely NOTHING. I’m done with all this filler nonsense.
26. Ok I might be sick of Hanna’s dramatics but at least she’s being proactive and getting shit done. Maybe finding Mary is as easy as impersonating a receptionist.
27. Ezra is sad that a girl is mad that he wrote a book about her??????? Déjà vu af.
28. BRB, having a small nap during this scene between Paige and Emily.
29. I do not believe for one second that Emily ever saw Paige’s return as a possibility that they’d have a second chance. She turned up while Emily was dating Sabrina, just before Emily made out with Alison.
30. P.S. where is Sabrina?
31. Good for Paige for standing up to the Liars’ bullshit, though.
32. OMG, A.D. FACETIMED ARIA, I AM SCREAMING.
33. That would actually be so fucking scary.
34. Uh… is that Pastor Ted? Thanks guys, for bringing back more IRRELEVANT characters and trying to make them relevant.
35. Who will be next? Spencer’s tennis boyfriend?
36. I tell ya what, cut out all these old secondary character appearances and just give us more WINE MOMS.
37. Wait, what even happened with Pastor Ted and Wine Mom Marin… did they break up because she slept with Jason?
38. I am all for sleuthing but Paige is crossing a giant line right now.
39. Ali is SO MAD.
40. Oh shit, look. It’s Mary.
41. You’d think Mary would wait a bit before showing up at the door behind Ted. Like, at least wait until the girls make it to the end of the pathway.
42. Is Mary holding Ted hostage? Lmao imagine. Poor old Pastor Ted.
43. Also poor Hanna, last year she had her dream job in New York and was engaged, and now she’s living in Rosewood being threatened with a lifetime in jail.
44. A.D. using FaceTime is literally giving me life.
45. But why is Aria hiding these A.D. calls from the other girls?
46. Also love that he/she dropped a pin and booty called her.
47. This “show the pregnant woman baby stuff so she doesn’t get an abortion” scene is hella problematic.
48. “Rosewood isn’t all that bad,” says Emily, who has been stalked, harassed, nearly murdered, had her girlfriend murdered, etc. in this place for seven years straight.
49. I forgot that Em and Paige had an actual real relationship and lived together.
50. Okay, I’m getting into this, these two are kinda cute.
51. OMG THEY’RE KISSING I DON’T KNOW IF I AM HAPPY THAT THEY HOOKED UP OR SAD BECAUSE I HATE PAIGE OR HAPPY BC IT’S NOT ALI.
52. But let’s be real they’re just setting this up as an obstacle for Emison, which is totally gonna be endgame. Sigh.
53. I cannot believe they went through with this CRAZY EGG STORYLINE.
54. I knew this was coming but I AM SO SHOOK.
55. I honestly feel like this was never meant to be the plan from the get-go but they read so many fan theories they were like “lol sounds cool, let’s do it” .
56. “This will be a romantic way to get these two back together.” – I.Marlene King probably.
57. A.D.’s ride is a limo? Where the hell does he/she get their cash? Apart from being a whiz on the stock market.
58. Aria is so dumb getting into this car but I’m so into it.
59. Of course Sydney’s there.
60. Is it just me or does she look like an angry, monotonous Anne Hathaway?
61. There’s no way she’s A.D.
62. WHO IS DRIVING THIS LIMO?
63. Aria is getting recruited to the A Team and suddenly all those theories from Season 2 are coming back to life.
64. So we’re just meant to believe A.D. took the two of them on a little joyride and just casually dropped Aria off, no worries?
65. Meanwhile Hanna always gets locked in cages and tortured – guess we know who A.D.’s favourite is.
66. PASTOR TED BANGED MARY AS WELL?????????
67. Holy shit what is this storyline? I am actually laughing out loud with glee, this is ridiculous.
68. PASTOR TED IS CHARLOTTE’S DAD?
69. LUCAS WAS BEST FRIENDS WITH CHARLOTTE?
70. This is just toooo tooooo much.
71. I know we asked for answers but I can’t process all of this at once?
72. Who’d have known that the Emily’s eggs storyline would be the least exciting thing in this episode?
73. But wait, how did they decide TED was the father?
74. I feel like the writers have a giant spinning wheel with all the character’s faces and just see who it lands on and are like, “guess Ted’s Charlotte’s dad, cool”.
75. Soooo… did Ted murder Charlotte?
76. DID LUCAS???
77. The fact Lucas has never mentioned his friendship with her is shady AF. He’s hiding something.
78. Who fertilised Emily’s eggs though? That is the real question here.
79. Probably Peter Hastings lmao.
80. Peter’s getting all mad that Spencer went out, like he has any grounds to be yelling at her.
81. If Daddy Hastings knew for ALL THIS TIME that Mary killed Jessica, why the hell did it take him this long to start looking for her?
82. But also like why should we trust Peter Lying Loose Dick Hastings?
83. Are Emily and Ali going to raise a baby together? Please get fucked.
84. I bet Alison will have twins and one will look like her, and one will look like Emily, because that’s how this dumb fucking show works.
85. A.D. seems to have combed through all their old MySpace profile pics to get these board game photos.
86. Why has A.D. specifically targeted Aria?
87. Also it really seems like Ali is 100% onto her.
88. I NEED MORE ANSWERS.