1.
"I thought the glass door was open but it wasn't. What's the point of even continuing with the day."
2.
"My human threw my ball and I went off looking for it but it was in his hand the whole time. What an ass."
3.
"The neighbours got a new puppy and it's cuter than me. This is the worst day ever."
4.
"My human wouldn't let me outside EVEN THOUGH I saw a butterfly go past the window. Ugh."
5.
"I got in trouble for chewing slippers. But they were ugly. I was trying to do a good deed."
7.
"All the big dogs at the park have longer legs and they can run faster. I hate everything."
8.
"My my new chew toy is too big. I'm so done."
9.
"I ate my whole bowl of dry food an hour ago and now I want more. Life sucks."
10.
"Master walked to the front door and then didn't take me out on a walk. Why is everything so hard?"
11.
"The kids got a new toy so they didnt play with me tonight. If you need me I'll be in my room."
12.
"They laughed at me when I got in the pink bed. Fine, I'm going to sleep."
13.
"These fucking cats won't leave me alone. I guess I'll just sleep."
14.
"We drove past the park and we didn't stop. Sigh."
15.
"Master keeps Instagramming me but using shit filters. This is horrible."
16.
"My bed is covered in my hair how hard is it for someone to just clean it for me? Fuck today."
17.
"He asked me, 'who's a good boy?' but he never told me the answer. Now I'll never find out who the good boy is."
