We Watched Episode 9 Of "Pretty Little Liars" And Had A Lot Of Thoughts
First voicemails, and now a fax?
1. What is Hanna up to?
2. Ahh I see we’re still on the “Noel is A.D.” path.
3. Have these girls ever thought of packing up and moving to Australia or something, instead of enduring all this shit?
4. I still find this Hanna/Lucas nonsense so funny. Lucas hasn’t been on the show for most of the season, but Hanna’s still meant to be in some sort of business with him?
5. Omg she’s recording some weird video.
6. What is she up to though? Who knew she was this sneaky/intelligent?
7. So Hanna is waiting until AFTER something goes potentially wrong to give any evidence to the police.
8. Cool, makes sense. Only took seven fucking years for her to want to involve the cops.
9. Ahh yes, “people searching” Noel Kahn on the internet will DEFINITELY help, Spencer.
10. Seems legit that Marco would stop by and just dump a lot of info on Spencer about the case.
11. Where did the Rosewood Police Force do their training, honestly. Remember when Lorenzo was knocked out by a tennis ball?
12. Lmao Archer is in France? Where the fuck are these cops getting their info?
13. Is Marco 20 or 40? I truly can’t tell.
14. Omg he just asked her out???!!
15. Spencer you weren’t KINDA getting out of a relationship when you met Marco, pretty sure you were technically still in one.
16. Spencer’s never been able to stay single for like an episode, let’s be real. Actually, none of these girls have. Except Emily, but that’s not by choice.
17. Ahh so Sabrina is still a thing then. I feel like they just reintroduce her randomly when Emily needs a storyline.
18. In some ways, Sabrina fills the void Sara Harvey left – that is, the “why the fuck is this character even in the show” void.
19. Not sure why Emily is doubting why Sabrina isn’t taking her seriously, can she even hear the stuff coming out of her mouth?
20. “Noel Kahn! Evil! Don’t make his cake!” OK you cray bitch.
21. Also Emily, Noel’s phone number and address are right there on the order form why don’t you write them down?????
22. Oh yeah, Jason. He’s a thing again. That long hair really is... something.
23. Something definitely went on between Aria and Jason… I’m hoping they banged sometime in the past.
24. I dunno why Aria is telling Jason everything, we don’t know if he’s a goodie or a baddie yet.
25. Though I guess we also don’t know if Aria is a goodie or baddie either.
26. Jason’s confused expression when Aria mentions Mary’s second child is me watching this show.
27. Wait, did we know Mary had disappeared? Well we do now I guess.
28. Omg yes Jason, get sleuthing. Mainly so we can see more of you.
29. Nice disguise Hanna. Just throw on a hat, no one will know.
30. This really looks like the exact place she broke up with Jordan in lmao.
31. I’m not sure if rifling through a garbage bag in broad daylight is the best sleuthing move.
32. Wait, who would have a phone with Sara as the screensaver?
33. God I hate Paige but I’m very into this storyline of her coming back.
34. She has the hots for Emily though, BIG TIME. I mean, me too.
35. “I’m glad they don’t have a ‘have you committed a crime’ box.” Omg Emily, you dumb dumb. If they’re asking if you’ve been arrested, they’ll most probably realise you have indeed actually committed a crime.
36. Good guy Jason helping out with the Liars’ illegal amateur sleuthing.
37. OMG FLASHBACK. OMG JASON. OMG ARIA. OMG... JARIA?????
38. I’m kinda here for this??
39. God he looks so much more biblical with his shirt off and his unshorn beard.
40. Jason’s trying to convince Aria to go overseas and volunteer… she sure loves a good samaritan.
41. The awkwardness between Emily and Paige is so real.
42. Lol @ Emily implying acne only happens when you’re a teenager. Rude.
43. Looking forward to they day when they stop dressing Emily in stereotypical plaid. I think I’ll be waiting a while.
44. Her false lashes are A+ though.
45. Oh man, Paige’s crazy eyes when Emily mentions Sabrina are NEXT LEVEL.
46. “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone,” says Paige, who was watching Emily and Sabrina through a window last week.
47. Honestly, I still missed the moment Emily and Sabrina became a proper ~thing~.
48. WHY ARE YOU TELLING PAIGE ABOUT A.D. EMILY??? REMEMBER LAST TIME? SHE RUINED EVERYTHING!
49. OK I hate Paige again.
50. Yaaass I’m living for Hanna doing a sneaky drug deal in a parking lot. What a glow up.
51. The guy had me when he said the pills could knock you out for a few hours. Knock me out of this show, buddy.
52. So are Spencer’s parents still on a cruise? Or actually working now? It feels like the parent budget has been reduced this season.
53. I miss my Olivia Benson fix.
54. **Waits for someone in the comments to be like “UGH BuzzFeed, that is NOT Olivia Benson!!”**
55. Emily’s all like, “I know when Hanna’s lying to me, and she’s definitely lying”.
56. Wow Em, imagine if your senses and skills were always this on point.
57. Wait, Noel’s at his parents’ cabin. WHY didn’t they just think of that in the first place? They’ve literally been there before. FFS.
58. Did these dummies really think they could just waltz on in and get these adoption records this easily?
59. Wait. Wtf? Aria’s sob story worked? God, the police officers and council workers in this town are honestly TRASH.
60. Wait… the phone Hanna found was Sara’s? Sara had a photo of HERSELF as her screensaver?
61. I guess if anyone would, it’s Sara.
62. Well thank god Hanna brought a hammer to crush those pills, idk what she would’ve done otherwise!
63. So when she drugs Noel, how does she plan to get him back to her random ransom room???
64. Did they once have a party out in this cabin in like Season 1 or 2 or something? The one with "CeCe"?
65. Ahhh young memories.
66. Spencer just punched the camera glass like it’s no biggie, what a hero.
67. WHY ARE YOU BITCHES NOT WEARING GLOVES. UGH.
68. OMG A SUSPICIOUS BOX WITH A SUSPICIOUS FLASH DRIVE INSIDE! Oh and great, there’s conveniently a laptop sitting right there for them to use!!!!
69. Wait, Noel Kahn was in the dollhouse?!?!??!??
70. This show just gets weirder and weirder.
71. Why are Spencer and Aria now just sitting so casually on the couch? I hope they made MULTIPLE copies of that fucking flash drive, because you just KNOW that Noel is going to steal it back.
72. OR MAYBE THEY SHOULD JUST TAKE IT TO THE GODDAMN COPS RIGHT NOW?
73. Now that Toby’s gone, the Rosewood PD can’t be as dumb, surely.
74. I love how surprised they are that Hanna lied to them. Fucking dummies. You're all liars, remember?
75. Oh, speaking of Mona, where is she?
76. Ugh, go away Sabrina.
77. Now I’m half-hoping and half-assuming that Sabrina will end up having some sort of connection to Noel.
78. Hanna in a baseball cap, drinking a beer, really is something.
79. That drink spiking was reaaaal subtle Hanna.
80. If she mixes up these drinks I WILL DIE.
81. Sabrina suuuuuuucks.
82. She kinda looks like a dirty, hippie version of Nicole tbh. Or a dirty, hippie version of Charlotte.
83. But that’s impossible. Charlotte’s dead. Right?
84. “I’m not trying to pry,” says Sabrina, after demanding that Emily tells her everything. Bitch, bye.
85. Although she made Emily cupcakes which is actually really nice and I feel bad but also please go away?
86. “We need to find her before she does something stupid.” Lol I see they know Hanna well.
87. OK so twice now in this episode, Spencer and Aria both say what they’re going to do to help solve this mystery, and Emily just stands there like “OK cool”. Pull your weight, mate.
88. Yesssssss Hanna solve this shit! Confront Noel!
89. I’m still so nervous she’s mixed up those drinks.
90. “Sara fell in the shower.” Heh it’ll never get old.
91. OMG NOEL, TAKE A DRINK, this is tense.
92. Oooooh Noel’s called her bluff. He’s a lot smarter than we all expected.
93. Idk why Hanna just let him take the phone. She’s in a crowded bar, and she’s a tiny lady, who everyone would help if she just yelled.
94. Why do I feel like this whole “Spencer’s mom’s car alarm going off” is just some big trick?
95. Oh no, the lights have gone out. Not a good sign.
96. Ugh why didn’t one of the girls go with her?
97. Where’s Detective Benson when you need her?
98. It looks like they still haven’t made a copy of the flash drive yet which is honestly such a rookie error.
99. And why is Spencer choosing to watch this video in a dark house, next to a glass door, during a thunderstorm?
100. YES, CALL MARCO AND YOU CAN HAVE “I’M SCARED IN A BLACKOUT” SEX.
101. OK so now Jaria are alone in a candle-lit house. These two better make out.
102. “You really turned it on today.” I was waiting for Jason to finish that with “and you turned me on too”.
103. Maybe I should just write PLL fanfic instead of watching this show.
104. He’s more interesting than Ezra tbh.
105. Aria’s eyebrows in this flashback are ON FLEEK. (Is fleek still a thing?)
106. So these two were actually in a relationship???!!! How has Aria not even told the other girls about this though?
107. HOLY SHIT SPENCER! GOD THIS IS A SCARY AF EPISODE.
108. OMG THE WINDOW. I literally thought it was a person smashing their way through the window, I was gonna be like A.D., bro, use the door hey.
109. OMG THERE’S SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE.
110. Ahhh it’s Detective Fury just in time.
111. Omg someone took the flash drive? YOU DUMB IDIOT, DIDN’T I WARN YOU YOU GODDAMN DUMMY SPENCER.
112. At least old mate Marco is here to save the day and ~comfort~ her, if you know what I mean.
113. I take everything back about his policing skills though, he is just as bad as the other cops with his, “the wind must’ve blown the door open”.
114. Yes... that probably locked, latched, or at least solid wood door.
115. Of COURSE Spencer has invited him to stay, that girl can never keep her hormones under control.
116. OK so is Nicole really dead then?
117. You think they could have told Ezra that Nicole wasn’t one of the hostages BEFORE he flew to fucking South America?
118. Aria has no idea how to feel, how confusing.
119. Ezra’s stress stubble will be a full-blown beard by the time he gets back.
120. Lmao they got a FAX? What with the voicemails and now this, is it the ‘90s?
121. OF COURSE NOEL KAHN’S DAD WAS THE JUDGE.
122. Rosewood is just too damn small.
123. Omg Hanna. Slay him… literally.
124. She looks so proud of herself lmao.
125. Now... how will she move his 6-foot tall body, she can’t be that strong?
126. What an episode.