1. Karen would be called Kaz, Regina would be called Reggie, and Gretchen would just affectionately be called Weiners.
2. At the Winter Talent Show, which would just be called the End of Year Concert, Damien would sing "Absolutely Everybody" by Vanessa Amorosi.
3. "Your face smells like eucalyptus!"
4. "I saw Cady Heron wearing a cutoff mini and ugg boots, so I bought a cutoff mini and ugg boots."
5. The cliques in the cafeteria would be: The Bogans, The Wog Squad, The Hot Wogs, The Ferals, The Molls, The Potheads, The Drama Kids.
6. And they wouldn't be sitting in a cafeteria, they'd be spread out around the school grounds.
7. "Hey, Regina, let's do something fun! Let's go on a Macca's run!"
8. "Would you like us to assign someone to sauce your meat pie?"
9. Janice would work at Lush.
10. When Damien is in the girl's bathroom, he'd chase after that kid saying "OMG Anthony Callea, I love your work!"
11. Cady would have incessantly been called a ranga.
12. "One time she met Osher Gunsberg on a plane, and he told her she was pretty."
13. "I can't come out… I'm sick!" "Rack off, moll."
14. Gretchen would get diarrhoea in Dymocks, not Barnes and Noble.
15. "I hear she does shampoo commercials…in Bali."
16. "She made out with a sausage sanga."
17. Cady would have accused Ms Norbury of pushin' pingas.
18. When Cady goes to the Halloween party, she wouldn't be the only one in a scary costume – she'd be the only one in costume full stop.
19. Spring Fling would just be a disco in the school hall.
20. And someone would have spiked the punch with goon or Passion Pop.
21. "I wish we could make some fairy bread out of rainbows and smiles."
22. "I don't think my father, the inventor of the goon sack, would be too happy to hear about this."
23. "Trang Pak is a grotty little ho."
24. Regina George's mum would be played by Jane Turner.
25. And Ms Norbury would be played by Gina Riley.
26. Chris Lilley would play five different high school girls.
27. Ketut would play the principal.
28. Regina's sister would be dancing suggestively to a Kylie film clip, not "Milkshake".
29. Aaron Samuels would be a surfer.
30. "On Wednesdays, we wear pink…lip gloss. Because our school has strict uniform codes."
31. The Plastics would always get in trouble for having their skirt rolled above the knee.
32. "Whatever, I'm getting a Chiko roll."
33. On Cady's first day of school, her parents would make her a Vegemite sandwich for lunch, not give her money.
34. Mathletes wouldn't exist because people don't do extracurricular activities for extra credit.
35. Regina George would say she was doing extension English but would really be making out with Shane Oman behind the sports shed.
36. Mufti day would be the Plastics' favourite day of the year.
37. Instead of Cady seeing the others as jungle animals, they'd be drop bears and kangaroos.
38. Cady would trick Regina into thinking the calcium in Tim Tam Slams made them nutritious and healthy.
39. "We only carry sizes four, six, and eight. You could try Big W."