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    24 Funny As Fuck Australian Tweets From The First Two Months Of 2018

    Laughs in Australian.

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    Ok so my grandmother is going on holiday on Friday, wants me to water her plants while she’s away & should never us… https://t.co/0JnpPUcZHt

    3.

    entering priceline: all i need is panadol exiting priceline: gross i can't believe i went 25 years without knee b… https://t.co/Brou8bCPo7

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    Americans: "Everything in Australia can kill you!" Australians: "Probably not an AR-15."

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    N KOREA: happy to launch nuclear war any time fyi USA: we will also do nuclear war but bigger AUSTRALIA:

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    my biggest issue with THE SHAPE OF WATER is how nobody was like "congrats on your man, Eliza! He's a catch!!!"

    8.

    if you go home with someone and they have books, don't fuck them. one of them could be by alain de botton and you can't take that risk

    9.

    Me when I'm 67 weeks deep in some random person's Instagram with no idea how or why I got there

    10.

    PSA: you don’t really need to see I, Robot before you see I, Tonya

    11.

    Cat that has never been so insulted in all nine of its lives of the day.

    12.

    it's good that Lena Dunahm's life is a long format version of the scene in The Simpsons where sideshow bob steps on about 50 rakes in a row

    13.

    Me at my 69th birthday: “thank you all for coming, hahaha, nice.”

    14.

    I'm a big fan of podcasts but I'm not sure the world needs 65 of them that are basically just people reading the wi… https://t.co/YntgBCp3UL

    15.

    When you think about it, Australia is the world's milkshake duck

    16.

    Sometimes I get disappointed about Australia but then I remember that our Kardashian’s are Hamish Blake’s family.

    17.

    instagram is introducing a new feature that splits your feed in two categories- One feed is just every single posts… https://t.co/IcJWKZASNl

    18.

    for the women on this website horny for post malone may i suggest moving to newcastle australia and meeting the man… https://t.co/CqLijxcuMO

    19.

    our little kids put a picture of all of us against the aquarium glass so the new goldfish will “feel like part of t… https://t.co/ThVP425wyd

    20.

    ME: I want a nerd girl GIRL: [starts telling me about soil PH] ME: no like one with blue hair and shit

    21.

    ... I just wanted to know how to make noodles

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    23.

    did captain jack sparrow put a curse on me

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