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69 Thoughts You Had Reading Teen Mags As A Pre-Teen

"WTF is a tampon applicator?"

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1. YAAASS finally there's a new Dolly out to spend my pocket money on.

2. Fashion and celebs and sex tips for all the sex I'll be having when I'm older yaaass.

3. Gonna get me some free tampons.

4. Ooh 5ive. Scott should be my husband. His hair is so pointy.

5. The contents pages are always so interesting. So many things to look at.

6. I really need some Aztec Rose boardies.

7. Who should I vote for in Dolly's model comp?

8. Oh, Miranda Kerr is really pretty, I'll vote for her.

9. But like, will we even know her name in two years?

10. Life goal: become a Dolly model.

11. Also life goal: work for Dolly.

12. They seem like they have so much fun.

13. Impulse have the best ads.

14. Impulse body spray > Australis body spray.

15. Also I'm kind of creeped out by tampon applicators? What's going on there?

16. I really need some stacked denim wedges. They're the coolest.

17. "Does your best friend drive you crazy?" IDK MAYBE BETTER TAKE THE QUIZ.

18. ...hmm. My best friend ~does~ sort of drive me crazy.

19. Should I get new friends? Hmm.

20. Sarah Michelle Gellar is the coolest girl on the whole planet.

21. I need some Fudge Paintbox ASAP. Get those pink streaks.

22. One day I'll win a Dolly competition. One day.

23. I need need need a knee-length denim skirt.

24. With white stitching.

25. Belly button henna tattoos are so hot.

26. So are matching, frosted lavender lipstick and eye looks.

27. Plastic chokers are so cool I'm never going to regret this look.

28. Gotta ask Mum to get me Tommy Girl for Christmas.

29. I need a Cab 55 handbag for formal.

30. I want to open the sealed section but I have to wait until my parents are out of the room.

31. Yessss a new poster of Jared Leto for my wall.

32. I'm so excited for this year's Dolly Summer Special Mag.

33. This feng shui article is going to help me know where to put all my inflatable furniture.

34. I want to use Ten-O-Six face wash but my face isn't pimply enough yet?

35. Is it bad for me to laugh at some of the Dolly Doctor things?

36. There are so many articles about waxing. Am I supposed to be waxing?

37. I need need need a pink plastic see-through pencil case with a sunflower in it.

38. Tampon boxes are so cool.

39. OMG all these confessions are so intense! I would never do that to my BFF.

40. I have a purple Baby G watch but now I need a blue one according to this fashion shoot.

41. I want to be a model it looks so fun.

42. Also do they get to keep all these clothes?

43. Probably.

44. I'm going to do the 40-Hour-Famine this year.

45. OMG James Van Der Beek <3.

46. Every year I think that me and my BFF are going to win the Clean and Clear competition. But I never actually enter.

47. Dolly quizzes are actual science.

48. Drew Barrymore is a goddess.

49. Ryan Phillipe and Reese Witherspoon are all my couple goals.

50. Same with Ben Affleck and Gwyneth Paltrow.

51. Same with Courteney Cox and David Arquette.

52. All those couples are forever.

53. Like literally, none of them will ever break up.

54. Buffy is the greatest TV show ever made.

55. Daniel Johns is so cool, walking around barefoot with grungy hair.

56. Dolly makes kissing sound so easy but is it?

57. I'm scared.

58. Also how do you know when to stop?

59. And will my tongue get tired?

60. This is so stressful.

61. Dolly makes being a teenager be so cool but also I am very stressed about it?

62. I really want a silver lip gloss, and I'm not even concerned about the fact that I'm going to look dead.

63. Wow all these poems are so ~deep~. I should send my poetry in.

64. And all my pens to be fluffy.

65. And all my pants to be flared.

66. What do I have to do to win this competition to visit the set of Dawson's Creek???

67. There are so many articles about boyfriends.

68. I need a boyfriend.

69. Where do I find a boyfriend?


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