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19 Hamish And Andy Tweets Which Will Make You Laugh Every Time

"Went to Sushi Bullet Train today. Almost impossible to get a California roll off."

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1. When Hamish shared this moment we've all experienced:

Even as an adult I still find it impossible to walk past the scales in the fruit and veg section without trying to weigh my arm.

2. And this life struggle:

"One takeaway pho please" "Sure" "Oh and please make sure it leaks everywhere so the bag is a hot mess of soggy napkin" "We always do sir".

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3. When Andy found this questionable cloud:

There's 'Cumulus' clouds, 'Strata' type clouds and the even rarer 'Cock-n-balls' cloud.

4. When Hamish was just trying to live the dream:

Probably the main difference between being a baby and a grown man is your ability to wear nothing but sports socks and it be "sah cute".

5. And when he was travelling in Rome:

"Hmmm. That's probably some thing of importance". - most common thought walking around Rome whilst not being bothered to look at map.

6. When Andy found a flaw in the Bible:

Pretty annoying for Mary to have to go through childbirth and not get to have sex.

7. And spoke to the soul of any Australian who has internet:

*Streaming films in 🇦🇺 Me: I'm loving this film. Internet: Oh really!? How about now? Me: Don't be a jerk. Get back to work. Internet: Nup

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8. When Hamish shared the realities of a binge:

Don't you just feel gross when you wake up and see all the empties from your previous nights drinking?

9. When Andy discovered this disclaimer:

If something makes a huge claim followed by the phrase 'if it doesn't happen, I'll eat my hat' Just check they're not wearing a pizza hat.

10. When Hamish talked about this #blessed moment:

I feel so hashtag blessed every time I realise the lettuce I'm about to use is pre washed and I just picked up 20 bonus seconds.

11. And when he spoke of this rubbish business idea:

Went to Sushi Bullet Train today. Almost impossible to get a California roll off.

12. When Andy got real about life's struggles:

Daylight savings finishing means an extra hour today, allowing you the 55 mins required to work out how to change the fucken oven clock.

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13. And when Hamish had insight into a council meeting:

When councillors really, really, really want a street naming meeting to be over...

14. When this ode to the humble hashtag was tweeted:

For years the hashtag sat on our keyboards doing nothing and now it works its tits off. It would be the so pissed off with social media.

15. And when Hamish knew about the simple joys in life:

I'm sure watching my child grow up will be swell etc, but really, is anything more satisfying than getting a corn husk out of your teeth?

16. When we were right there beside Hamish with our candles:

I wonder when Lou Bega will bring out Mambo No. 6? My candlelight vigil continues.

17. And when Andy made us all realise that we kinda want to be dogs:

What ya do today? 'Did a poo in a park & watched to see if someone stood in it.' Cool ~Conversations that are fine as dogs, not as humans.

18. When Hamish knew that cats are our true rulers:

I have no problem cleaning my cats litter except for when he watches me & I 100% know he's thinking, "that's right Turd Monkey, get it all".

19. And when he left us with this poignant quote:

"Just once I would like to be featured in a great quotations list or book" - Hamish Blake

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