1. BRB busy squealing about Spaleb.
2. It's almost too much good looking for the one frame.
3. OK but before you run out Spencer, wake up Caleb.
4. Wake up that handsome devil and tell him about the text.
5. (And maybe have some morning sex.)
6. But actually tell him about the text. Have you literally learned nothing?!
7. So much for being smart, Spencer.
8. This new format of showing texts is super annoying.
9. OMG Hanna's going to text him back.
10. Why did it take them five years to think of texting their stalker back?
11. Wait why is Ali at Dr Rollins' farm?
12. The doctor who is sort-of, kind-of responsible for her sister being killed.
13. I mean, if he'd never let her leave Radley, she'd still be alive.
14. Literally no part of Lorenzo reassures me that he has this under control.
15. Wait wtf is Byron doing here?
16. I love how from time to time Aria's dad just seems super shady and weird.
17. "Does Ezra play golf?" Dumb question, he only drinks whiskey and gets angry.
18. He IS from a rich family though.
19. Rich = golf.
20. This coffee shop chick looks a little like Alison.
21. She's got the token Ali/Charlotte hair anyway.
22. I feel… suspicious.
23. Ezra's gone, but like also, where are Mona and Alison?
24. "There's dark and brooding, and there's dark and depressed." I see this Brew lady has also noticed his stubble and his drinking.
25. If Aria searched hard enough, she'd find Ezra passed out in a gutter somewhere no doubt.
26. "Thanks for making the coffee this morning Spencer… AND FOR ALL MY ORGASMS LAST NIGHT."
27. "Last night was perfect." Omg Spencer, no, Toby doesn't even know yet.
28. Literally how could they discuss this with Hanna but not with Toby?
29. And FFS how has she not told him about the text yet?
30. What is this conversation about coffee?
31. Is this meant to be a metaphor or are they actually talking about coffee?
32. What is happening here?
33. And I am very, very disconcerted about Caleb's shirt.
34. "How come you've been engaged for a year and haven't set a wedding date?" Um coz they're like in their early twenties calm down.
35. Emily: "Hold on, back up". All of us right now.
36. LOL Jordan keeps Hanna ~grounded~.
37. When he's not flying her around the world in his private jet.
38. ICYMI: Jordan is ballin'.
39. But we still don't know why he's Australian.
40. OK who the hell is this girl with Toby?
41. Is she, like, Jimmy Fallon's relative?
42. Does Caleb flirt with all of Toby's ladies?
43. OMG Toby literally just asked Caleb if he's "cooking for anyone".
45. I do not understand boy talk.
46. "I ~connected~ with someone."
47. Yeah you did, Caleb.
48. Yeah. You. Did.
49. This is such a weird conversation.
50. And Caleb's loud and offensive shirt is not helping things.
51. Lol remember when his style was "homeless goth"?
52. Now it's… "preppy wallpaper"?
53. Caleb, how could not just see you ripped Toby's heart out and flung it in his half-built house?
54. God this whole Spencer, Caleb, Toby, Toby's new lady shit is so complicated I just can't even keep up.
55. Aria needs to chill the fuck out about Ezra, doesn't she know that the most shady suspect is never the actual killer?
56. Fucking hell Aria needs to buy the Pretty Little Liars box set and learn a lesson.
57. Good on Emily for trying to take the high road.
58. Too bad Aria is very pushy for quite a small person.
59. Wow whoever is doing this opposition research for Spencer's mom really did their homework.
60. How can they possibly know that he's planning to propose "at a family lunch"???
61. Wait who is taking photos of Spence?
62. Idiot should have turned their flash off.
63. This is like that time I saw a hot guy on the train and tried to take a sneaky photo to send my friend but I forgot to take the flash off. It was… embarrassing.
64. Anyway who was that? And is that the same car from Charlotte's funeral?
65. Ashley is so over Hanna's shit.
66. Tbh same.
67. I am very impressed with Ashley. If I were her I'd get up, walk out, and never fucking come back.
68. She has put up with way too much at this point.
69. This Brew girl doesn't have TV or a computer or Facebook?
70. Lol what a loser.
71. But also I'd kill to see the Liars' Snapchat stories.
72. Yaaasss Aria you sneaky bitch.
73. How convenient that the FIRST cupboard she opened is the one with the clubs in it.
74. Why is every single event in this town held at Radley?
75. OMG Toby has a ring.
76. The "family lunch" must be today!
77. And, on cue, Spencer gets an emoji-riddled text message from A.
78. Or whatever we're calling A now?
79. Big Bad?
80. OMG Aria.
81. Hoe don't do it.
82. Don't be that girl that breaks into their ex's apartment and listens to his messages.
83. Ohhhhh she's gone and done it, of course.
84. Aria is so much more deranged this season.
85. And it seems like she doesn't even have another boyfriend, she's just crazily stalking her ex.
86. BYRON? What you doing?
87. Lmao at the whole Byron is "Big Bad A" I am dying.
88. Maybe Byron and Pam have been in cahoots this whole time.
89. Also it's a bit of an overreaction for Aria to say to Emily that her dad had something to do with Charlotte's death.
90. Though, so be fair, this is PLL, which is built on overreaction.
91. Honestly, if Jordan doesn't want to marry Hanna because of this tape stealing business I will eat my hat.
92. Hanna is so fucking dramatic.
93. This whole situation has nothing to do with him.
94. He probably has a tonne of other stuff on his mind right now, Hanna.
95. Like how to make more cash money.
96. "You're not Hannibal… Hanna". Wow. Wow. WOW. Who approved that line.
97. Quiz idea: Are you more Hefty Hanna or Hannibal Hanna?
98. Um, did Hanna just call his dad "Papi"?
99. As in, champagnepapi?
100. Drake? U there?
101. OMG Hanna got a Big Bad text.
102. Why oh why is Big Bad using so many dumb emojis?
103. Are they 14?
104. Literally stop these graphics I am so done.
105. Oh Hanna that PTSD reference is too real.
106. Fuck A.
107. But also… GO TO THE POLICE.
108. We've been saying it for SIX SEASONS.
109. At least tell Caleb?
110. Spencer, you know that if you delete that Toby message that Caleb will find it.
111. He is a ~hacker extraordinaire~.
112. Don't even think about crossing him.
113. I love how these girls 100% rely on Caleb to fix and solve anything tech-related.
114. They're getting threatening text messages and their solution is to tell Caleb which will fix everything?
115. Still probably better than letting dumb cop Lorenzo know.
116. Oops Spencer just ran into Toby and his boo.
117. This is going to be awkward.
118. I hope.
119. Um who gets excited to meet their boyfriend's ex?
120. The people in this town are so fucking strange.
121. "Officer Toby". Oh for fuck's sake.
122. At least call him Officer Cavanaugh.
123. Though the perks of dating a cop seem pretty good.
124. When was the last time he did any police work though? He's just building houses.
125. WHAT THE FUCK DID EMILY JUST SEE?
126. WHO IS THAT OLD MAN?
127. Did A buy a grandpa costume?
128. Honestly, this fucking show.
129. Is that why Big Bad was googling "uniforms"?
130. I can't even deal with this scene.
131. YES another flashback!
132. If I have to see that Ali and Aria and Byron scene one more time though…
133. Tbh it would kind of make sense if Aria's dad was sending the Big Bad texts.
134. It would explain the terrible emoji use.
135. Parent Texting 101.
136. Also, not saying my dad could be a killer but if he was going to choose anyone, someone who has stalked and tortured me for years would probs be first choice.
137. Of course rich Jordan has a swanky lawyer on call.
138. He's so rich.
139. That's such a rich boy thing to do.
140. Oh, are you in trouble? Let me call my rich father to get a lawyer for you.
141. Fucking goals tbh.
142. Also, why is Hanna so hell-bent on telling the truth now?
143. Like, there's a first time for everything but now's not the time.
144. Except she's not REALLY telling the truth.
145. She's not going to the police with the text messages WHICH COULD ACTUALLY HELP FIND THE KILLER.
146. Where the fuck is Mona, honestly? She would not put up with this nonsense.
147. Unless Mona is the one SENDING the messages.
148. I'm here for it.
149. "We're not an us anymore." GO IN TOBY!
150. Spencer, it's probs easier for Toby to be your friend when you're not fucking his other best friend too.
151. Whatever happened to the brotherhood of ex-boyfriends?
152. RIP that short-lived bromance.
153. Of course Spencer and Caleb are being renegades and tracking the texts.
154. Oh what a surprise. Caleb saw the Toby text.
155. Spencer, if you're going to date a professional hacker, you should know better.
156. "I didn't want it to get complicated." Yeah there's nothing complicated about fucking your bestie's ex-boyfriend who also happens to be your ex-boyfriend's friend.
157. Also, if Caleb can track these texts right back to the phone, IMAGINE WHAT THE COPS COULD DO WITH THIS INFORMATION.
158. Fuck my life.
159. Trust Emily to get caught doing the simplest thing.
160. And now she's in a fight with her future boo.
161. What a mess Aria has created.
162. Will Emily ever be able to catch a break?
163. Lol probs not.
164. Wow, we're still going with Lorenzo being a cop then, fair enough.
165. Lmao I can't take him seriously.
166. Especially when he leans against the desk in his white suit, pushing his jacket back so we can see his badge.
167. Remember when he slept with Ali while she was underage lololololololol fine police work there Lorenzo.
168. Also how very ~mysterious~ that the tapes just HAPPENED to disappear.
170. Aria wins Worst Daughter Award for keeping her dad's spare keys in the bottom of one of her high school backpacks.
171. "Just where I left it." - Aria, five years after asking to borrow Byron's car.
172. Spaleb are literally talking like they've been together forever.
173. There is no such thing as a chill couple on this show.
174. And why are they travelling AT NIGHT? Of all the times?
175. This storage locker is very eerie.
176. And of course it has no lock.
177. OMG I hope that bin has a body in it.
178. Nope, just hoodies.
179. And a phone.
180. Ugh. Been there, done that.
181. Oh how ominous, Aria's dad is missing his number nine golf club.
182. He must have done the murder.
183. Because no one has ever tampered with evidence on this show.
184. Also. Since when has ANYONE ever played golf in Rosewood?
185. Ashley Marin is drinking something other than wine.
186. Something must be troubling her.
187. OMG I bet you she took the tapes from the Farm or whatever.
188. She looks so concerned.
189. YASSSS SHE DID TAKE THE TAPES!
190. Mamma Marin is such a fierce lioness protecting her cub.
191. This whole campaign storyline is a huge snore.
192. And Spencer and Yvonne have way different versions of fun than I do.
193. Yvonne really is Spencer 2.0, I guess Toby has a type.
194. We need Olivia Benson back on detective duty, not this political shit.
195. How very convenient that Hanna's mom works at Radley aka the place where every single important thing on this show ever happens.
196. OMG this scene is vintage Haleb.
197. It's actually hurting my heart.
198. Maybe they should be together.
199. UGH IDK.
200. These girls need to STOP thinking that it's Sara.
201. Yes, she's shady. But surely it can't be that obvious?
202. I wonder what room Sara's staying in at Radley.
203. What if it's the same room that Charlotte lived in for all those years?
204. What if she's turning Charlotte's old room into a new lair to pick up where Charlotte left off when she was caught?
205. What if Charlotte buried something in the walls and now Sara's going to use it to ruin these girls' lives?
206. God, I should write a teen drama show.
207. Toby is stressing balls that Spencer is going to stay in Rosewood.
208. But that smirk was shady AF.
209. What's going on wit chu, Toby?
210. Spencer: "how'd I do guys?" Lol sorry Spencer we dgaf about your mom's political career because LOOK AT THIS CARPET!
211. The photo was taken at Radley!
212. Lol yeah we already knew that though because, as we've established, everything happens at Radley.
213. OK finally Byron is calling Aria back.
214. Haleb! Speaking at the same time! My poor, conflicted heart!
215. Oh look there's that old man who was watching Emily.
216. I can't believe I just said that sentence.
217. Big Bad A is literally dressing up in an old man outfit I am dying.
218. OK I cannot take this seriously.
219. I mean like, I never did, but this has hit all new proportions of stupidity.
221. I need to see the new episode though where they realise Big Bad has dressed up as a weird old man.
222. And still think it's drunk Ezra.