go to content

23 Jokes You'll Only Get If You're Poor

"The only thing dry in January is my bank account."

Posted on

3.

my only New Years resolution is to not spend money on food I honestly might be rich by 2017

4.

you: a 'homeowner' hundreds of grand in debt me: a ps4 and lava lamp owner, no debt, furniture I found on the side of the road

5.

i once saw a pigeon on the subway & it got off at the financial distribct & all i coud think was "cool. that bird makes more money than me"

6.

as a kid, I used to think $1,000 was a lot of money. But now that I'm an adult, I think it's a tremendous amount of money

7.

me: doesn't check bank account for weeks also me: "not sure how much is on this, but let's just see if it works"

8.

"Hello darkness my old friend." Darkness: I'm not lending you any money.

9.

Age 15: someday I'm going to own a Ferrari Age 20: maybe I'll get a BMW someday Age 25: I hope someone in a Mercedes hits me in a crosswalk

10.

visualization of my bank account right now

11.

MUGGER: GIVE ME YOUR PURSE OR I'LL SHOOT YOU ME: *realize I won't have to pay student loans back if I'm dead* MUGGER: ??? ME: I'm thinking.

12.

Age 20: in 5 years I'm going to own a benz and have my house paid off. Age 25: you know what, Patricia? Make that TWO mexican pizzas.

13.

The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.

14.

"Work until your bank account looks like a phone number" Well...

15.

dry january, yeh right the only thing that has been dry the whole of january is my bank account😫

16.

me: i wanna show you the world *looks at bank account* me: i wanna show you the block

17.

Me to me: 'STOP SPENDING MONEY!'

18.

me trying to figure out where all my money went: maybe if i hadnt bought that 89 cent dipping sauce in 2007..

19.

when ur relative offers u money and u pretend like u cant take it at first

20.

If I have $100 cash in my pocket in the morning, even if I don't go anywhere or spend any money, at the end of the day I'll have $7 dollars

21.

Doctor: show me where it hurts. [shows him my bank account balance]

22.

Hey now Youre a coinstar Put your dimes on this plaaate Hey now Get your swear jar check your car for loose chaaange & all i eat's McDonalds

23.

Me: [repeatedly tries to type "motherlode" in the ATM]

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss