1. You don't brush their coat and teeth daily cause ain't nobody got time for that.
What do you mean EVERY day. I do it when I feel like it's time. Or when I can't handle the breath anymore.
2. You’re so lazy and you love doing nothing so you turn your dog into a lazy thang.
Like owner, like dog.
3. You don’t clean their food trays every day.
EVERY DAY? I drink water from a tumbler cup that I don't even remember cleaning, like, ever. And I'm fine, ain't I?
*proceeds to fell guilty and goes to clean dog's food trays*
*but not its own tumbler*
4. You sometimes (like really rarely, like only when you're sick or something) let them poop inside because you’re too lazy to take them out.
Having to actually take the dog out vs. cleaning up shit at home, its a lose-lose situation.
5. You teach them awesome tricks like how to play dead but you still haven’t taught them how to walk without a leash.
I mean, not everyone has the same priorities, right?
6. You constantly annoy them by taking a shitload of photos for social media.
Someone: Stop torturing your dog!
You: Oh, no he really is enjoying it, he just has a resting bitch face.
7. And you know your selfie will get extra likes if the dawg is in it.
And after about 100 tries you manage to take one where they are actually looking in the camera. Unless if they decide to throw up.
8. You give them food whenever they beg for it.
WHO ON EARTH CAN RESIST THOSE PUPPY EYES??
9. You barely ever take your dog to dog parks or other places to socialize with other dogs so you turn them into a socially awkward dog just like his owner.
"I do take them sometimes, but they just embarrass me so much my anxiety levels go through the ROOF!" - You
10. You wake them up when they are snoring and you can't fall asleep.
I mean, it's not like the damn thing won't fall asleep again in literally 2 seconds and continue snoring.
11. You let them hump your guests.
You eventually make them stop, but you have a good laugh first.
12. You sometimes turn on the fan/vacuum cleaner/hair dryer/anything they hate just to annoy them a bit.
Hey, sometimes they are the only entertainment you got.
13. You lock them in your room in an attempt to force them to love you.
Just love me already, goddammit!
But at the end of the day, you do try your best and they do love you no matter what.
Dogs are THE BEST!