In 2014, soon to be 2015, you'd think people would improve despite us having absolutely everything you can imagine convenient to them, but it's gotten to their heads and they just keep getting creepier and creepier and creepier. Dudes with childish superiority complexes messaging girls they don't know a dozen times or more with no response (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, sup girl, i think you're purdy, i want you in my pants, please slob my nob, hey, hi, wtf bitch, u there, fuck u bitch, please respond, hey). Girls perching on their Facebook tree branch to complain about past relationships (chirp chirp chirp gargle gargle). Ladies, remember, you're only allowed to go through self checkout if you have 13 items or less, so please put the hotdogs, polish sausage, and Kielbasa multi-mega-bonus-packs back on the shelf. The dumb Charlie Brown meets the ghetto outfits you deadbeats wear to attract filthy girls with zero substance and maximum diseases, then cheating on them 5 minutes later because you're weak and scared and can't grow a beard like us Spartans. If you guys show up wearing your uniform to the wrong game, don't be surprised when you can't hit a home run. Guys (and girls) going on Instagram raping sprees in hopes of picking up local village whores so they can juggle them in their freakshow of horseshit and lies. You are following 4563 people and have 89 followers, which is God's way of saying you need to downgrade your data plan to a rotary phone. Similarly, life itself has downgraded on me while I seek out good people. I am proud of my real friends and family for being true to themselves after all these years, while we simultaneously swat the mutant flies away, and befriend the unfriend button. Actions speak louder than words, and the changes in language and human behavior that I've seen in some people are absolutely repulsive. It's honestly choke worthy. Get a hold of yourselves. Chop down a tree. Pull up your pants. Grow a beard. Stop raping people via social networks. Stop being pathetic. Know where to draw the line people, and discipline yourself enough to honor the human respect still left in people and boost the collective faith in humanity once again. #SavedbytheSchaef I yield back.