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    We Drank Hella Old Wine And Lived To Tell The Tale

    We did a grape job testing this wine gadget.

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    The Hobbit's Bilbo Baggins went on an incredible journey where he ventured for months across the lands of Middle Earth. All while facing incredible life-threatening perils.

    Warner Bros. Pictures / Via

    My story is not even remotely fucking close to what he went through. My journey, starts on Amazon. Where the dangers are being broke, and praying Prime shipping is an option on an item. True terror.

    It all started when I came across this miracle wine device that seemed too good to be true.

    Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed
    Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

    They claimed it had the ability to preserve a recorked bottle of wine for days. Some Amazon reviews claimed WEEKS!

    Of the 194 Amazon reviews, 139 are 5 star verified purchase reviews. This has to be legit right?

    A bottle of Private Preserve costs about $10. And for that price, I'm willing to give about any weird device a try.

    Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed
    Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

    It has a whole novel worth of text on the back.

    The idea is that this ~special~ mix of gas creates a protective blanket that keeps air in the bottle from touching the wine. This will supposedly preserve the wine from oxidation, allowing you to keep a resealed bottle of wine around longer.

    You spray a couple quick bursts of Private Preserve into the bottle and quickly stick the cork back in. It's that simple.

    Well I’m no wine connoisseur, but I was willing to put my body – and the bodies of my colleagues – to the test.


    Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

    Here is how I approached testing this:

    * Open two bottles of wine.

    * Drink until they are both half empty.

    * One of them I would seal with the gas and recork.

    * The other I would also use the gas, but seal it poorly with a plastic bag and a rubber band.

    * Leave them in the fridge for two weeks.

    * Re-open them.

    * Pour each of them into a glass and see if anyone in the office could tell the recorked and plastic bag bottles apart from a fresh glass of wine.


    Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

    I poured each sample out, making sure to aerate the fresh wine so that the flavor was more subtle. This test was done blind, so no one knew what they were getting in each glass.

    To skip to the chase: NOTHING TASTED VERY GOOD.

    Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed
    Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed
    Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

    There were a huge range of reactions: from "This is almost like juice" to gagging sounds and furrowed brows. I'll admit I probably should've used a better wine, but this is a test for the every person! This product should work on even the most shitty of wines!

    The results were all over the goddamn place.

    Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

    Ainsley HATED it.

    Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

    Ellen liked it.

    These two reactions are to the same plastic bag-sealed wine sample. I thought that everyone would have died after drinking it. But to each their own tastes.

    Of the seven people tested, only one guessed all three samples correctly. And that one person was me (fuck yeah 🙌🏽). Everyone else either guessed one correctly, or none of them.

    Should you buy this?

    Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

    Maybe? I was able to tell the samples apart, but not everyone else could. I don't think I have any tasting superpower, and wine isn't my alcohol of choice. Your mileage may vary.

    There are huge wine enthusiasts that swear by this product, so it has merit. It clearly does SOMETHING. But whether you will be able to determine that quality is all on you.

    Some people joke that this product is useless because you'll never have a bottle of unfinished wine! But for those of us who only want a glass a night, or use wine only in cooking will find a use for this. And for $10 I think it's worth a try.

    You can find it here on Amazon.

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