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Apr 2, 2017

Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?

Shiba inu planters, chair socks, and a shrimp neck pillow: How far can *you* get without buying something?

Jenny Chang / Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

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Welcome to another edition of “Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?”

I am your host, Jeff. I’m back yet again for this week! The game is simple. Try to make it through this entire post without buying something.

Don’t plan to buy anything? That’s OK! Stay and enjoy my groanworthy jokes! I italicize each pun for maximum cringe.

Come up with a better pun? Post in the comments! I DO READ ALL THE COMMENTS!

DANGER! THERE MIGHT BE SOME PUNS AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! GOOD LUCK, ALL! 😀

1. A scented elven leaf candle that is downright beautiful.

etsy.com

There's a Rain Water scent to give you some re-leaf at the end of the day.

Get it on Etsy from MythicCreationsbyAni for $11

2. This shrimp neck pillow to caress your seafood-loving self.

amazon.com

I wish I invented this, I would've made a krilling!

Get one from Amazon for $22.

3. These chair socks in the shape of paws.

amazon.com

I donno...these are pretty faux-paw.

This is definitely my favorite pun of the post.

Get some from Amazon for $14.

4. A cake slicer that's evolved to also be a cake server.

amazon.com

It makes serving pieces of cake a piece of cake.

Get one from Amazon for $20.

5. A dinosaur lunch box for herbivores and carnivores alike.

amazon.com

It's made by Suck UK, but it really should be made by Fossil.

Get it on Amazon for $35.

6. This scaled necklace that looks like it belongs on a dragon warrior.

etsy.com

Lady for scale.

Get it on Etsy from PixieShadowCraft for $38.

7. These magnetic flingers you can throw around or fidget with.

amazon.com

Flinger?! I hardly know her!

Sorry yeah, this post wouldn't be complete without me throwing that joke away.

Get a set from Amazon for $25.

8. This interesting broom with curved bristles for raking in debris.

amazon.com

My puns are always terrible. It must be from a lack of sweep.

Get it from Amazon for $37.

9. This very good shiba pot you can grow tiny cactuses in.

etsy.com

Just keep giving it water and sunlight for a shiba to reach its full pot-ential.

Get it on Etsy from Sirosfunnyanimals for $50.

10. These galaxy unicorn leggings that would make a great constellation prize.

amazon.com

It'll leave quite the leg-acy.

Get a pair from Amazon for $20.

11. This Pusheen backpack...because that cat is irresistible.

amazon.com

I might be Pusheen it with some of these puns.

Get one from Amazon for $40.

12. A knitted brain beanie to keep your head warm for a brainstorm.

amazon.com

Dude, getting this is a no-brainer.

Get one from Amazon for $21.

13. A pair of big and little fish nail clippers that live to keep you manicured.

amazon.com

Why are they fish? Just for the halibut.

Get them from Amazon for $11.

14. These lacy eyelash tattoos for a masquerade look.

etsy.com

Eye could see myself wearing these.

Get a set on Etsy from cclstore for $3.

15. These tiny wall planters that are easy to install.

amazon.com

If these were radioactive, they would be power plants.

Get them from Amazon for $16.

16. These silicone baking mats so you never have to scrub off those stubborn bits of dough.

amazon.com

Some say these don't work, but I bake to differ.

Get two from Amazon for $13.

17. And this hedgehog toothpick holder that'll make you want to serve olives to all your guests.

amazon.com

Olives, cheese, or prickled eggs.

Get it from Amazon for $32.

Hate to say it, but this is where we part ways. If you're looking for more, you can check out my lovely colleague's take on the "Can You Get Through" challenge from last week.

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