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Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?

A lip gloss fidget spinner, caffeinated mints, and a floral penis pillow. How far can *you* get without buying something?

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Welcome to another edition of “Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?”

The game is simple. Try to make it through this entire post without buying something.

Don’t plan to buy anything? That’s OK! Stay and enjoy my groanworthy jokes! I italicize each pun for maximum cringe, AND BECAUSE I WOULD REALLY HATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GETTING AT. If we had the ability to highlight words at BuzzFeed, I would.

Come up with a better pun? Post it in the comments! I DO READ ALL THE COMMENTS!

So with that said: DANGER! THERE MIGHT BE SOME PUNS AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! GOOD LUCK, ALL! 😀

1. These succulent planters to perfectly display the beauty of whales and elephants.

amazon.com

You might even say it perfectly orca-strates their beauty.

Get one from Amazon for $10 (also available as a crocodile).

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5. A portable armrest divider to set some boundaries between you and your seat neighbor.

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8. This adorable pet hoodie to stop your pup from freezing their tail off.

amazon.com, jnew05 / Amazon / Via amzn.to

These are just so dog-gone cute.

Get it from Amazon for $12 (available in sizes XS–XXL).

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15. This camping teakettle that easily collapses into a bag.

amazon.com

And it's available at a price that's not too steep!

Get it from Amazon for $20 (available in four colors).

17. A tin of mints infused with caffeine for when you don't have time to brush or drink coffee.

amazon.com

They all arrive in mint condition.

Get a single tin from Amazon for $4.99+ (available in a six-pack and half-pound sizes, and in two flavors).

Aaaaaand that's it for this week! Take a gander at last week's edition, which you can find here. See ya!