Welcome to another edition of “Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?”
The game is simple. Try to make it through this entire post without buying something.
Don’t plan to buy anything? That’s OK! Stay and enjoy my groanworthy jokes! I italicize each pun for maximum cringe, AND BECAUSE I WOULD REALLY HATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GETTING AT. If we had the ability to highlight words at BuzzFeed, I would.
Come up with a better pun? Post it in the comments! I DO READ ALL THE COMMENTS!
So with that said: DANGER! THERE MIGHT BE SOME PUNS AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! GOOD LUCK, ALL! 😀
1. These succulent planters to perfectly display the beauty of whales and elephants.
2. A fidget spinner mashup that puts three flavors of lip gloss into one puzzlingly cute gadget.
3. An etched wood money clip — it looks so damn cool and makes it easy to keep your bills in one place.
4. This mug for revealing your deep longing for a previous life.
5. A portable armrest divider to set some boundaries between you and your seat neighbor.
6. This throw pillow for subtly adding the penis decor you've been missing in your life.
7. A ship-based drinking game that'll have you taking a shot every time your opponent guesses a location correctly.
8. This adorable pet hoodie to stop your pup from freezing their tail off.
9. A soap dispenser with a place for your sponge.
10. This pet hammock for taking your cat to new heights.
11. These Bluetooth headphones that'll free up your body movement by cutting the cable.
12. An all-terrain belt able to conceal a bit of cash for extra travel security.
13. This food processor that's perfectly sized for making summertime smoothies.
14. A fancy-looking fruit bowl sure to class the shit out of your kitchen countertop.
15. This camping teakettle that easily collapses into a bag.
16. This charming sink paper clip holder.
17. A tin of mints infused with caffeine for when you don't have time to brush or drink coffee.
