MLB had another successful Opening Day yesterday. Jose Reyes succumbed to his yearly injury, which resulted from his first at bat. Don Baylor had the misfortune to break his femur while catching the first pitch to the Angels’ game. Most notably though, Raul Ibanez rested a bat on his crotch as he fixed his batting gloves and @productiveouts posted a photo that refers to this practice as a dickstand.
I am making a bold prediction for this season. In 2014, the dickstand will become a phenomenon in baseball that spreads amongst popular culture. Every time that you see a ball player use his bat as a dickstand, tweet the photo and use the tag #dickstand.
I have so many questions that need to be answered about the dickstand. Do any ball players regularly use a dickstand? Raul can be seen resting the knob of the bat against his junk, but does any ball player ever rest the barrel of the bat against themselves? Do ball players ever use their bats as a dickstand when they’re not in the batters box? The world needs to know and I will find out.