Please check off all applicable personality traits, and we will use the results to determine why everyone hates you.
You take baths instead of showers.You eat a Subway sandwich at least once a week.You have a pet snake, or have touched someone else's pet snake, or have even once, for just a moment, considered what it would be like to have a pet snake.You refer to food that has bell peppers in it as "spicy."You refuse to use the same toilet twice.You make donations in other people's names as birthday gifts.You ran for president for the media attention and never seriously desired to win.You keep pinching your gynecologist in the side and it makes exams so much more difficult.You called your mom an "Ugly Dragon" and she is actually very ugly so that was mean.You called your dad an "Ugly Dragon" and he is actually a dragon so it was raw as fuck.You spend all your money on crystal meth but then you just use it as decorative rocks in your fish tank.You show up at random weddings and tell everyone that the groom is actually two raccoons in a tuxedo.You prefer it when buffalo chicken sandwiches are made with grilled chicken instead of fried chicken.You name your kidney stones.You lie on your taxes but in a way that suggests you make much more than you actually do and therefore causes you to lose a great deal of money.You went to Duke University.You constantly suggest to your friends that you want to hang out and shame them into making plans, but in the end you are always the one to cancel last-minute or, in the rare occasions when you do show up, you act distant and annoyed.You enjoy the sweet, smooth, taste of Bud Lite Lime.You punched Neil deGrasse Tyson in the face once because you hate comets and, of course, he was talking about comets. Again.Your favorite Breaking Bad character is the RV.You wear a leather coat half of the year and for the other half of the year you wear a much fancier leather coat with frills and sequins.You write alternative history novels about Japan winning the French and Indian War.You can't spell the words "bureau" or "restaurant" or "heist."You were born in Missouri but not the good half of Missouri.You call muffins "breakfast cupcakes."You give blood twice a week for money but then you use the money to buy bags of blood for your fridge just in case of emergencies.You befriended a wise old man living inside of a train car and then, when he fell asleep, you drew a dick on his face and filled his pants with marshmallow Fluff.You sneeze into pudding cups and offer them up to the parents of your friends.You dress up like Santa and run around screaming Van Halen lyrics at children.You hurt dogs but emotionally and only with passive aggressive texts.