How Many Of These Euphemisms For Male Masturbation Have You Heard?

Spanking the monkey

Five finger shuffle

Making the bald man cry

Poaching your egg

Shaking hands with Dr. Winky

Beating your meat

Blowing your own horn

Battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger

Riding the mayonnaise surf

Shucking corn

Waxing your carrot

Tugging the slug

Windsurfing on Mount Baldy

Debugging the hard drive

Auditioning your hand puppet

Oozing your noodle

Squirt hockey

Hand shandy

Smoosh smoosh

Burping the worm

Wanking

Pocket pinball

Badgering the witness

Celebrating Palm Sunday

Making magic with leftovers

Pulling the Pope

Wrestling the eel

Liquidating the inventory

Hoisting your own petard

Fishing with dynamite

Beef Strokenoff

Jerkin' the gherkin

Cooking cucumbers

Consulting Dr. Jackoff

Tipping off the inspector

Much a goo about nothing

Looking for clues with Fred and Daphne

Discovering your own potential

Shuffling your iPod

Strangling the Cyclops

Buffing the Vampire Slayer

Making Pearl Jam

Meeting the Goopman at midnight

Seasoning your meatloaf

Practicing politics

Hunting for Red October

Tossing egg salad

Crying on the toilet

23 skidoo

The tartar sauce rainbow

How Many Of These Euphemisms For Male Masturbation Have You Heard?

No one's around, right? Cool, let's have some fun.

Please check off all the euphemisms for male masturbation that you recognize.

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