If you're from New England, you probably recognize this incredible gift to the taste buds.
And if you don't already love Moxie, you should.
Because Moxie is the best soda in the world. Here's why:
1.Moxie was the very first mass marketed soda in America, originating in 1884. It's an original, and if there's anything New Englanders hate, it's change.
2.Moxie's mascot is a suited man pointing aggressively but also kinda seductively in your face. What's Pepsi's mascot? A circle? Screw that.
3.Moxie was originally marketed as a refreshing beverage that also happened to cure "loss of manhood" and "softness of the brain." Last time I checked, Fanta couldn't do either of those things.
4.Moxie was the favorite soda of baseball legend and handsome nice man Ted Williams.
5.The name of the old Moxie factory was Moxieland. That's the best name of any factory ever.
6.New Englanders love Moxie's great/unique taste, which is comparable to oddly delicious, carbonated cough syrup. That may sound weird, but it legitimately tastes amazing.
7.Moxie is so beloved in the town of Lisbon, Maine that it holds an annual Moxie Festival.
8.They take this tradition VERY seriously.
9.What other soda would inspire love/shamelessness in this fashion?
10.The festival even features a bunch of running, presumably toward some refreshing Moxie.
11.Moxie's motto is "Distinctively Different," which is a reference to its extremely original taste, but may also be a subtly progressive message championing individuality and free thought?
12.Last but not least, Moxie literally has its own encyclopedia. An entire encyclopedia devoted to a soda. That's right, Moxie is as important as World History or Natural Science. You can still buy it and read it.