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McDonald's Used To Publish A Magazine And It Was Literally A Nightmare

Guaranteed to make you grimace.

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Between 1979 and 1990, McDonald's published a magazine called McDonaldland Fun Times.

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Its tagline claimed that it was "A Magazine Especially For Children". But that's assuming that all children love incredibly scary close-ups of a clown's face.

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Because more often then not, the covers of these magazines featured McDonald's mascot Ronald McDonald. And let's just say he didn't come off as particularly...inviting.

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See what I mean?

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Don't look directly into the eyes, children. You'll see forever.

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On this cover, Ronald and his friend, Horrible Bird Woman, swell to massive proportions and threaten to attack a defenseless mill town.

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For a special Halloween edition of McDonaldland Fun Times, Ronald brutally carves into a smiling pumpkin as his audience watches on, aghast.

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In this issue, Ronald appears to be pulling some cruel prank on a bunch of imaginary screaming creatures, as well as Scientist Jesus?

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Here, Ronald further exhibits his seemingly boundless powers, creating energy and matter from thin air with the simple will of his mind.

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And what magazine would be complete without a Hunting Defenseless Wildlife edition?

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This bunny knows exactly what's about to happen.

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This gopher is like, "I want to run but I am frozen in terror."

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Meanwhile, Ronald's never been happier.

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And this mop with olive eyes is doing a little silent scream, questioning its own existence.

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On the June/July issue of 1984, Ronald showed off his immense strength so that he may instill fear in the hearts of his enemies and also an eagle dressed like America.

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I honestly don't know what the fuck this is.

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Or this.

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What the...?

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Looking good, Ron!

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Is he simultaneously breaking someone's leg while cutting off another person's oxygen supply? Serious what are his hands doing?

And he does it all with a smile on his face.
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And he does it all with a smile on his face.

A huge, unyielding smile.

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Let's be honest: this is Ronald's world, and we're all just lucky to live in it.

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Me too, Horrible Bird Woman. Me too.

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