Jeb Bush is heading to New Hampshire this weekend for what is likely the start of a campaign for the 2016 presidential primaries.
During his trip, the former Florida governor will be attending a round table discussion at Integra Biosciences and a fundraiser for Frank Guinta, a recently-elected Republican Congressman from the early-primary state. As he travels through New Hampshire for what may be the first of many times in 2015, these thoughts are sure to be on his mind:
1. Man, I super hope no one calls me Governor Bush.
2. I have to remember to tell the man introducing me not to say, "Soon we'll be calling him President Bush."
3. I wonder if I could ever convince the public to call me "President Jeb."
4. What is Jeb short for, anyway?
5. Is NH one of those states that still sorta likes us or what? I'm just gonna play the middle line until I get a feel for it. Seriously though, what is Jeb short for?
6. I feel like I would remember writing "Jebediah" on legal forms.
7. I don't even look that Amish.
8. I bet people will find it endearing and hometown-y if I ask them to call me Jeb and to never, ever mention my last name.
9. Maybe I can ask CNN to film me being called "Mr. Jeb" by one of these quaint lumberjack folk. That would be gold.
10. Can I make lawn signs that only say my first name? It's not like a lot of other Jebs are going to run for president, right?
11. If another Jeb runs for president, I'm totally screwed.
12. I swear we've passed that same tree like 14 times.
13. Is it short for Jebfrey? I should call dad. Dad would know.
14. First person on my team to call me "George" gets fired, to serve as an example to the others. You have to live by that rule, Jeb. Live and die by that rule.
15. Maybe it's Jebward.
16. Is there an Old Hampshire?
17. Wait, my family is rich. Why the heck was I nicknamed Jeb in the first place? Shouldn't it be more like "Roland" or "Alistair" or something?
18. Oh man, I definitely should have been thinking of a speech on the way here.