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Are You The Right Or Left Twix Bar?

Which side of the candy wrapper do you call home?

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  1. 1. What color is your hair?

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    Brown
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    Green
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    Strawberry Black
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    Greenish Brown
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    Blonde
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    Blackish Blond
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  2. 2. What's your favorite time of day?

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    Twilight.
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    Dusk.
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    Near-sunset.
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    The Blue Hour.
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    Not-quite-sunrise.
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    Ghost Time.
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  3. 3. When you come across a baby lying in a bassinet at the backdoor of a monastery, crying its eyes out, what do you do?

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    I eat the child. The child is good protein.
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    I present the child with a colorful mobile full of happy animals!
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    I use my detective skills to find out who the child's parents are, and then begin an excruciating 8-month process of blackmail.
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    I dangle my keys in front of the child's eyes because babies love dangling keys!
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    I've already had to deal with, like, four babies left in bassinets at the monastery this week. I'm just going to pretend I don't see this one.
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    I will raise the child as my own, teach it morals and righteousness, and someday, when it is grown, it will pass by the backdoor of a monastery and see another abandoned baby, and the process will repeat itself.
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  4. 4. When you hunt, which animal do you most desire as your prize?

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    The dreaded Owlion: an owl with the eyes of a lion.
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    The moose who killed my stepfather.
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    Any hedgehog I can find, really.
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    The horse that helped kill my stepfather.
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    That man from the bus stop who looked like a ferret.
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    The lake trout who did nothing to stop the moose or the horse.
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  5. 5. Where is your treasure buried?

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    On the same desert island Tom Hanks lives on but the fool hasn't found it yet.
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    Inside my mind.
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    I buried it right underneath this stray cat I found, so it's wherever the cat is.
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    In several off-shore Swiss bank accounts.
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    I invested all my treasure in Bionicles.
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    The only real treasure is friendship, and I buried that in the backyard.
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  6. 6. When's the last time you felt the vaguest glimmer of love in your heart?

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    Yesterday afternoon.
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    Thirty-four years ago.
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    Not since Velma left. Oh, cruel, unforgiving Velma! How my heart yearns for thine gentle brush of hand. Please return my calls.
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    A couple months ago, when Burger King brought back Chicken Fries again.
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    I feel love each and everyday for blessed Mother Earth and her gifts, such as flowers, and Chicken Fries.
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    I grew up in a very strict household that didn't allow any glimmers of love in our hearts until our homework was done.
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  7. 7. Please finish this sentence: "Never have I ever..."

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    ...swam in a public pool. Mother would never approve.
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    ...owned an entire New York city block and turned it into one big coat hanger factory.
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    ...found a lost dog who turned out to be a sassy magic dog just keepin' it real.
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    ...kicked a soccer ball so hard it became a football before it hit the ground.
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    ...helped anyone get their groove back.
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    ...been Goose in Duck, Duck, Goose because the kids know not to mess around with me.
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