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17 Times You Know You're In A Black Southern Baptist Church.....

Today, I went to a black church for the first time in years. (I'm black so these things are only mildly racist. But completely true.)

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You arrive late....

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But still wind up staying for over 3 hours.

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Your view is blocked by big ass hats.

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I can't make this shit up.

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The singing begins...

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...and never seems to end.

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All visitors (aka white people) are asked to stand.

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*A room full of black people is Sterling's Hell.

The pastor starts over-enunciating.

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And becomes a bird?

The pastor starts sweating.

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The pastor starts asking if he can get a witness.

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This happens...

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...or this....

And definitely this.

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You wonder if there was a roll call you missed?

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There's this lady.

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And this lady.

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Finally, you go home and eat soul food.

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