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    • jayp22

      the main thing i can think of are questions like “have you had THE surgery?”. quite a few things are problematic with such questions: there is no ‘the surgery’ that results in having ‘a sex change.’ there are many different types of surgeries that can change a person’s genitalia or secondary sex characteristics. people who are trans might choose to undergo some and not others, or none at all! because there isn’t one, singular step for a “sex change,” the word used is “transition.” there are many steps for social transition - changing your hair and clothes, going by different pronouns and a different name, etc. - and for physical transition - different surgeries, different levels of hormones - that trans people choose many combinations of. basically, don’t assume because someone has a particular identity, they want to take certain steps. the other reason why questions like “have you had THE surgery” is problematic is because it’s asking medical info about someone’s junk. any way of asking about a trans person’s junk is offensive the same way that asking about a cis person’s junk is offensive. it’s a private thing. so unless there is an important reason why that info is relevant to you (ex/ you’re their doctor, their significant other, etc.), it’s none of your business. also, as mentioned above, the vast majority of trans people find the term “transgendered” offensive and prefer the term “transgender.” i hope that all was clear and that it was somewhat helpful!

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