20 Signs You’re At A Gay Pool Party.

There are pool parties, and then there are gay pool parties.

1. The invite states, “Small get together.”

2. Many people are wearing suits that can’t get wet.

3. There is plenty of food, but no one eats.

4. There are bartenders on hand for drinks.

5. The pool has a water feature.

6. The hot tub is packed.

7. The DJ in your friends backyard was just headlining in Ibiza.

8. You have 4% Body Mass, but feel fat.

9. The host may or may not be there.

10. There is a good chance Absolut is sponsoring the bar.

11. The boys dancing on boxes may be paid go-go boys, or may just be guests.

12. Guests will enter in one small suit, and then strip down to another smaller suit.

13. Someone will ask, “Whose place is this anyway?”

14. There will not be children, but there will be blow up pool toys.

15. Good luck getting to the bathroom.

16. Your Ex will be there.

17. Swimming may never happen during the course of the party.

18. The lower the sun, the more clothing-optional the party becomes.

19. Despite the invite’s promise, no one will declare the party “relaxing.”

20. Before you leave you get invited to the next pool party.

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