1. Calling into work.
If you want to sound sick when calling in to your work, lie on your back while hanging your head over the edge of the bed. You will sound congested.
Or...
Don't call into work "sick". Call in saying that you have "family problems". That's the end of the discussion.
2. How to size up the competition.
"Last time I was looking for a job, I posted a fake add for a very similar position on Craigslist so I could check out the resumes of my competition."
3. Free hotel rooms.
"Hampton Inn Hotels have a 100% money back guarantee policy. If you aren't happy for any reason at all they are required to comp your room. You can do this nearly as often as you like. I work for one and we regularly have the same people complain about things. One woman has like 180 free rooms complaints on her profile, but we still have to comp her. The only way around this is for the hotel owner to set up a review of the incident on a per case basis with Hilton. It's easier just to comp the room and move on. Hilton pays the hotel back anyway."
4. Getting discounts at Target.
As part of the employee training at Target, they teach you that if a customer argues over a price, and the full price is under $20, to just give it to them for whatever price they claim. It's cheaper for the company to move on to the next customer than to call in a price check.
5. On the public transportation..
Want to sit alone on a bus? Wear a face mask
6. Getting an interview.
"Someone posted the other day that they add positive industry buzzwords to their digitally-submitted resume in white print, because they won't actually show up on the document, but the sorting algorithms select his resume for an interview and it gets through to HR."
7. Free windshield repair.
Got a broken windshield? Next time your driving and see a cement truck or any kind of truck carrying rocks or dirt follow it. Call the 1-800 number on the back and say a rock flew out and hit your windshield. Once they verify there was indeed a truck at that location there's a good chance they'll offer to replace your windshield for you.
8. Easliy getting a cab.
Drinking in the city and can't get a cab?, walk into a fancy hotel lobby, and call a cab. They'll assume it's a posh person going to the airport, and they'll be there in a flash.
9. Meeting up with someone.
When meeting someone, tell them you are twice as far away from them as you actually are, and are willing to meet halfway, I.e. a block away from where you currently are.
10. Getting other people to do the work for you.
"I would email my class or section and offer to lead the team in writing a study guide, and dole out assignments (e.g. portions of the class material) to the group. Thing is, I would divide the work among everyone but myself and directly email EACH person their assignment with no cc's. That way, everyone wrote their chapter, sent it to me, and I just compiled it and sent it out, having done no study guide writing myself. Worked EVERY time."
11. Unlimited free refills.
"I used to keep a cup from McDonald's in my car at all times and when ever I was driving and wanted some soda I would just walk in any McDonald's and refill my cup. I did this for weeks."
12. Parking.
Road cones. Road cones. Road cones. Need to hold a parking spot? Road cones in the target spot and the adjacent spots. No-one challenges road cones.
13. Lines at Disneyland.
"The weirdest I've heard of is rich moms hiring handicapped people to go to Disney with them so they and their children can skip all the lines."
14. Buying produce.
Use the self checkout when buying fruits and vegetables.
15. Getting people to read a post.
Add a NSFW tag to your reddit post to get people interested
16. College textbooks.
For college students, torrent your books PDF rather than buying the textbook.
17. Sexy time.
Say you've never orgasmed from oral sex to make your partner try harder.
18. Make things go your way.
If you're in a crowd and need to get through, yell I'm gonna puke.
To dominate someone in conversation stare at their forehead questionably.
19. Craigslist bargaining.
"When buying something on craigslist, I use my spam email to lowball the seller by a lot, then I use my regular email to give a reasonable offer that is still a good amount under the asking price. I almost always have my offer accepted."
20. Free phone chargers.
If you need a phone charger, go to a hotel and tell them you forgot your phone charger in the hotel. They'll pull out a box full of them, take your pick.
21. Extra Big Macs
McDonald's is very customer-service driven. You can finish your Big Mac, take the empty wrapper to the counter, tell them it wasn't good, and they'll likely just give you another one. They're not in the business of alienating customers over a couple patties. Ronald's in the long game. He's got you for life.
22. Study guide ponzi scheme.
Send out a mass email to the class the day before an exam saying I have just finished my study guide, and offer to swap it with other people.
Never actually made a study guide. People would send me theirs and I would them send them each others back. Win win for everyone.
23. When you're running late.
"When I know I'm going late to be for something, I'll call ahead and tell whomever I'm meeting that I was just pulled over for speeding. Thus giving myself an excuse for being late, and demonstrating my commitment to whatever it is I'm late for. Only works once, but it usually works pretty well."
24. Look away.
"The first trick I learned in the FBI: If you're on a stakeout and you want someone to stop looking at you or think you're not looking at them - pick your nose. They immediately turn away and think you're just some jerk picking his nose."
