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Nick Offerman Gives A Tour Of His Pizza Farm In Hilarious School Lunch PSA

"French fries are practically salads."

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A new video from Funny or Die features Parks and Rec star Nick Offerman as food expert David Frances, who is questioning healthy school lunch options by showcasing crops on a farm that only grows junk food.

The crops include pizza slices growing on vines...

...taquito trees...

...and rows of freshly grown sloppy joes.

All irrigated by sugary-sweet cola.

The parody video, created to call attention to the issue of school lunch nutrition, concludes by directing viewers to find out more from the American Heart Association.

If only such a farm existed.