1. Every night you calculate the ABSOLUTE latest you can wake up and still do the shit you have to do the next morning.
"If I go to sleep now I can wake up at 7:15, be ready at 7:30, and get to work by 8:00."
2. You make sure to set several alarms at 10-minute intervals to ensure you wake up in the morning...
3. ...and the sleep in between those alarms is the best sleep you'll ever have.
4. You almost always ignore the first two alarms, because they're just warm-ups for when you actually HAVE to get up.
5. Between the alarms, you have those horrible dreams where you're actually getting ready in the dream.
Then you wake up and have to get ready for real.
6. But the last alarm kind of makes you panic because now you really have to get up.
Damn that noise.
7. You're definitely guilty of waking up late for important events.
8. So you've resorted to extremes like setting alarms on different devices, or having someone else act as an alarm to force you to get up.
It takes a village to wake a beauty.
9. You've developed an intense hate-hate relationship with the morning sun.
Nature's alarm clock.
10. And for some reason those morning rays always seem to shine DIRECTLY on your eyes no matter what.
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Even if you switch sleeping positions or move the drapes THE LIGHT WILL FIND YOU!
11. You can't stand the assholes who decide to do lawn work the one day you can sleep in.
TRYIN TO SLEEP IN ON THE WEEKEND AND THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD CUTTING GRASS EARLY IN THE MORNING
Damn you lawn mowers and leaf blowers!
12. You have a superhuman ability to control your bladder, because you need to put off peeing for as long as possible.
Don't lie, you've thought about getting a bedpan.
13. You're totally not afraid to skip a shower or breakfast and use those precious extra minutes for sleep.
Every second counts.
14. Before you even think about getting out of bed, you spend at least the first 15 minutes of your day checking your Twitter and Instagram.
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Then you spend the next 15 minutes checking work or school emails, and of course Facebook.
15. Every morning you have the internal debate as to whether you can miss school or work today so that you can go back to sleep.
16. You then furiously calculate the number of sick days you have left, or whether you can afford to miss a day of class.
Never has a mind worked so hard so early.
17. You hate the fact that you have waaaaay too much shit to do and have to get out of bed.
If you even decide to get out of bed.
18. But sometimes you lie there longer and decide what outfit you're going to wear that day.
Pretty much anything to avoid actually getting out of bed.
19. You then reluctantly force yourself to get out of bed in a zombie-like state...
20. ...and promise yourself you'll take a nap later on.
PS: That nap almost never happens.
21. When the day is over and you get home, you swear you're never leaving your bed again.
It is your one true love.
22. But deep down you know the horrible saga of waking up and starting your day will continue forever.
Waking up is hard to do.
