1. Every night you calculate the ABSOLUTE latest you can wake up and still do the shit you have to do the next morning.
2. You make sure to set several alarms at 10-minute intervals to ensure you wake up in the morning...
3. ...and the sleep in between those alarms is the best sleep you'll ever have.
4. You almost always ignore the first two alarms, because they're just warm-ups for when you actually HAVE to get up.
5. Between the alarms, you have those horrible dreams where you're actually getting ready in the dream.
6. But the last alarm kind of makes you panic because now you really have to get up.
7. You're definitely guilty of waking up late for important events.
8. So you've resorted to extremes like setting alarms on different devices, or having someone else act as an alarm to force you to get up.
9. You've developed an intense hate-hate relationship with the morning sun.
10. And for some reason those morning rays always seem to shine DIRECTLY on your eyes no matter what.
11. You can't stand the assholes who decide to do lawn work the one day you can sleep in.
TRYIN TO SLEEP IN ON THE WEEKEND AND THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD CUTTING GRASS EARLY IN THE MORNING
Damn you lawn mowers and leaf blowers!
12. You have a superhuman ability to control your bladder, because you need to put off peeing for as long as possible.
